Relationships Long Distance Love | myldrwithafrenchman

Kissing in Paris

Posted on November 17, 2017 by Etoile 75007

Ooooh la la! That kiss… it haunts me.

It has been over a month… exactly 40 days since our lips locked. Now I can say that I’ve actually been French kissed… literally… haha

It makes me wonder if all Frenchmen kiss that passionately… I know it sounds like a stupid stereotype but isn’t it one of their trademarks? haha

It was really good but I’m starting to forget how great it was.

It was one of the best kisses I’ve ever had.

I didn’t get enough. It was dumb of me to have an accidental bf just before I flew to Paris. Shame on me for kissing him. But more shame on me for feeling so guilty when in fact it wasn’t a real relationship and I ended up feeling guilty anyway.

And now, I regret not being able to enjoy the romantic moment with him that I’ve been fantasizing about for 2 years… coz of a stupid, impulsive decision on my part to say “yes” to a guy who has no idea what being “exclusive” means.

And now I feel I’ve lost that chance.

Grosses bises ♥ Etoile

Oh, mon Dieu!!! Oui! Oui! Oui!

Posted on October 11, 2017 by Etoile 75007

“Omg!!! Tonight is the night!”, I thought to myself.

Yes, it is!

I am finally back in Paris…

My Frenchie actually came to pick me up from my hotel… Oui!!! Oui!!!

Two long years we have waited to see each other.

Those times we talked about the things we wanted to do with each other… starting with that very long passionate kiss… oui!!!

I cannot believe this is actually happening.

then my phone rang…

he says he’s waiting downstairs outside the hotel.

I say I’m on my way down…

I hurry… I couldn’t run any faster…

I come out…

He was just standing there…

it is him…

in the flesh!

waiting…

with a very big smile…

I stop just past the steps…

he walks up to me…

he says, in his very sexy French accent, “first, that kiss I have been dreaming about… as promised… really big…yes?”

We both laughed then he kissed me… very passionately… and embraced me like he had not planned to ever let me go.

I do not know how long that kiss lasted. We were in the middle of the street of Montmartre in the middle of the night not caring that there were other French people walking by. It was like time stood still.

He held my hand and lead me towards Sacré-Cœur we walked around and talked. We tried to play catch up then he asked about what our plans were while I was in Paris.

Then I had to tell him what I couldn’t over the phone…

“I’m seeing someone now. Plans have changed. Those dreams and fantasies will have to remain just that… dreams and fantasies.”

I can see the pain in his eyes… it wasn’t easy for me either. But I did tell him from the start that I don’t do LDR’s anyway… him and I can never be.

I said, I just wanted to tell him in person. Sure, I had to fly to Paris for this?

I don’t know what I wanted him to do or say… as usual, he says “I understand”.

He holds me in his arms again but he doesn’t say anything. He looks into my eyes… kisses my forehead then he smiles.

We don’t talk… we just sat at the steps of Sacré-Cœur enjoying the view of the beautiful city of Paris. He held my head so I can lean on his chest as if to listen to his heart beat.

I don’t know how long we were there for… I didn’t want it to end. But then it started to drizzle… we looked at each other and knew it was time to get back. It was like the sky was also sharing our sadness.

We walked back to the hotel not saying anything to each other…

there was nothing left to say.

As we got to the steps of my hotel, he kisses me again… almost like he did the first time but not quite.

It didn’t seem to me like that was going to be our last kiss.

Then he gives me a tight embrace and says… “Bonne chance ma belle princess.”

He steps back and stares at me… as if to memorize my face…

then turns around and walks away… 😢

***Grosses bises* ♥ *Etoile***

The gifs on here were in anticipation of what was to happen when we finally saw each other in Paris. I had not planned to be with anyone till after our tryst. But I guess fate has a funny way of playing with your heart. haha

Now that I’m with someone, it’s a major game changer for me. I tried to be just focused on my Frenchie now it will be different.

September

Posted on September 25, 2017 by Etoile 75007

It’s September again. How time flies. Two years ago around this time, something happened that will change my life forever.

When I heard this song I thought that this could be one of our songs. My Frenchie and I met around that week, it was a cloudy day. In fact, it rained which is how we met. Quite serendipitous!

If the universe had nothing to do with our paths crossing then I’ll be darned! LOL 😉

Anyway, I can’t contain my excitement!!!. I’ll be back next month in the same sweet spot where we met that one fateful night.

I still haven’t decided if we should meet up. We have been making plans though and I really don’t want to stand him up. It’s just that I’ve been so crazy about him I don’t know if it’s a good idea. Plus I’m seeing someone right now. I haven’t really committed yet coz at the back of my mind I know that I have to see my Frenchie. And If I had a bf that would be cheating so, no. I’m still pretty much single and available though this seems getting a little serious at this point. Idk, I’ll write about it at some point.

Anyway, I actually left him a message last month saying that I might not be able to see him in Paris after all cause my sched is pretty hectic. That was an attempt to dodge him. But he won’t take no for an answer. He says I refused to let him visit me here in the US and made him wait 2 years so it’s just fair. LoL

I told him I’ll call him as soon as I get to Paris.

I will.

The “coffee” is still on for now — 70/30 at least 😉

Grosses bises ♥ Etoile

Types of A$$holes: How to Spot Them

Posted on August 16, 2017 by Etoile 75007

The Universe lead me to this article (there are no accidents.) ~~~> “12 Types of A**holes: How to Spot Them Before It’s Too Late” by Halle Kaye. Go check the article coz you’ll definitely learn something.

The guy who ignores your texts or call.
2. The guy who cheats.
3. The guy with terrible conflict management skills.
4. The guy who has no manners or sense of romance.
5. The guy who’s hot and cold.
6. The guy who’s lazy.
7. The guy whose life is just a f*cking mess.
8. The guy who cares more about his job than you.
9. The guy who drinks way too much.
10. The guy who’s not ready to commit.
11. The guy who’s insecure.
12. The guy who’s cheap.

Anyway, I was having one of those days, mending my broken heart… trying to get over Zohan. I still think he was just being a normal guy until I read this article, then I realized that he is actually an @$$hole and I was being naive. Ugh!

Now, I’m trying to analyze Zohan. He’s usually the one who texts or calls. I have accused him of screwing someone else, but is that cheating if he’s not my boyfriend? I do not think he is romantic. I think he’s both #5 & #6 based on the explanation in the article. As far as #10 is concerned, I was clear from the get-go that I wasn’t ready for a relationship (heck, I wasn’t ready to date!) and I just wanted to hang out… so he knew and he was fine with that. And he’s definitely a #12. He’s probably the cheapest guy I’ve ever dated. I have to say that I was understanding of his situation because he has several young kids and he was making less than half of my income so money wasn’t an issue until I felt that he was being a douche. I’m pretty reasonable and generous but I won’t let people use me.

asshole-managementthe-five-rulesactually-delivering-what-anger-management-only-promises-4-638

“Asshole Management: The 5 Rules“

This Rule #2 is very important. I was scrolling through Instagram and a post struck me. It was a poem that went something like this… “Let your pain turn into nectar… Never allow someone’s sting to make you bitter.” I have been really sad and I felt like the Universe was speaking to me directly. It is very difficult to get over someone you see on a regular basis. it’s just plain $hitty.. which is why I should never have broken my rule. It is a very basic rule. “Do not $hit where you eat!!!”

Fun Fact:

Do you know that “Culus” is the actual Latin word for asshole?

After reading the article, I realized that @$$holes are everywhere and women just refuse to see them for who they are because we enable them. Why? Maybe because we like them too much or we have such low self-esteem that we don’t think we deserve better. I see this a lot around me. I hear women complain about the guys they date and make excuses for them.

Don’t lose hope. There’s still a lot of great guys out there, we just have to learn to trust our instincts and be a better judge of character. Just keep your eyes open for deal breakers and red flags and know when to bail out. Once you figure out that the guy you’re dating is definitely an @$$hole, find the nearest exit, run like your life depended on it, and don’t look back.

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Caveat: Most guys exhibit some (or all) of these traits to a certain degree, however, if it gets to a point where it is consistent and after you have called him out he still keeps on engaging in some of these disrespectful behaviours then it’s time to say, “Hasta la vista, baby!”

Grosses bises ♥ Etoile

My Almost Lover… Adieu…

Posted on August 14, 2017 by Etoile 75007

I started this “thingamajig” with Zohan knowing that it wasn’t going to last. I didn’t have any unrealistic expectations. I accepted that I was going to play second fiddle to his kids and I thought I’ll see how long I could take it. I wasn’t being pessimistic, I was just being realistic and rational.

I knew it was going to hurt but I took the leap of faith and just rolled with it. It was fun while it lasted. I was happy for a short while.

Adieu (Ah d’yew) Use this rather somber goodbye word only when you know you will never see the person again. Literally, it means “until God,” which gives you a strong clue as to the sense of finality it imparts.

But then, it wasn’t my issue. I was having this feeling in my gut that was getting heavier and heavier. He didn’t like it whenever I tell him to stop acting shady. It started as a joke. But he does act like it. I had a strong feeling that he was lying about something and he was using his kids as an alibi. And the whole time I just really loved how he was such a devoted dad. How gullible was I?!?!?!

One day, Suddenly everything made so much sense…, I realized that I had my blinders on the whole time coz I liked him so much. It happens, y’know. I do not need proof. I know he’s not my boyfriend. I did say I’m not ready for a relationship. I have no right to ask but I want peace of mind and I’m losing it. I’m starting to have a bad taste in my mouth so what’s the point of this? I know we didn’t have an agreement that we were going to be exclusive and technically, we haven’t had sex so if he’s having it somewhere else and he’s not my boyfriend then what does that make us? Am I being unreasonable?

Today I decided that I’m going to stop this craziness… I don’t know how. It’ll be tough coz I ump into him from time to time and it gets awkward whenever it happens… I already have a script in my head in case he confronts me.

I have been asking you to leave me alone and you won’t. This is the last time I will ask you but it doesn’t really matter coz it’s up to me. I get to decide. I’m done. I do not know the woman in that car the other night… that wasn’t me. I don’t act that way and I don’t allow people to treat me like shit. And I definitely do not know that man I was with. He wasn’t the one I fell for coz I would never fall for anyone who would disrespect me like that. We both agreed about one thing, we just want the fun, no drama. So, I’m moving on and I’m not looking back.

We had a fight the other night but we made up. However, I decided yesterday that I really want out. I don’t want this negative energy looming over my head. He texted and called me several times over the course of the day… and as much as I was hurting, it brought a smile to my face knowing that he was thinking about me. Stupid, stupid heart!!!

I do not need this BS in my life. I do not need to be with a man who cannot make me feel secure. I never had to worry about this shit with my ex-husband. And here I am with the first guy I dated right off? Just my luck! Ugh! Doesn’t that tell you something?

Grosses bises ♥ Etoile

I’m such an idiot! lol

Posted on July 12, 2017 by Etoile 75007

I was going through my draft folder and I found this break up meme from Game of Thrones. I thought it was funny so I saved it on my phone.

This is probably the lamest way to break up with someone. I sent this to Wil (My Dirty Little Secret) by accident last year when we were still kinda seeing each other. I wanted out coz he was getting so annoying and controlling but I wasn’t sure coz I really liked him.

So I was freaking out coz he was getting really mad at me. I had to get an SOS from my youngest daughter on how I can redeem myself. I didn’t really want it to end this way. It was pretty bitchy and heartless. I believe in Karma y’know.

So I found this.

Anyways, if in case you’re the one being served. Just know that if the jerk tries to use any of these lines on you. Just save your dignity and say “Good riddance! Hasta la vista baby!” Believe me, you’re doing yourself a huge favor.

Oh, BTW, that’s not the worst part. I was telling the story to my friend a week after and I was trying to show it to her and guess what, I accidentally re-sent it to him again. ugh! FML!!!

Talk about being subtle… LOL

Grosses bises ♥ Etoile

My Ecstasy… my real life Fantasy

Posted on June 5, 2017 by Etoile 75007

Two words…

My Frenchie…

My Frenchie is my ecstasy… my real life fantasy…

from 5000+ miles away, believe it or not, he manages to rock my world… for real!!!

When I heard this song a couple of years ago a few weeks after I got back from Paris, I knew this would be a perfect song for my Frenchie. He took over my mind. I couldn’t think of anything else. I was smitten… infatuated… obsessed if you may.

And every time I hear this song, it teleports me to his apartment in Paris.

Have you ever noticed,
That I’m not acting as I used to do before?
Have you ever wondered,
Why I always keep on coming back for more?

What have you done to me???
I’ll never be the same I’ll tell you for sure

You really are my ecstasy… My real life fantasy…

I felt like a teenager all over again… it was like a breath of fresh air… in the beginning.

but then it started to affect my life… my school… my productivity…

Everything in moderation is great! Moderation is the magic word…

I had to work towards it… gain back control.

and I did… eventually.

My Frenchie is still my ecstasy… my real life fantasy.

and in a few months hopefully, it will be more than just that…

***Grosses bises* ♥ *Etoile***

Wil

Posted on May 19, 2017 by Etoile 75007

I received a message from Wil (My Dirty Little Secret) on viber today. (I have finally blocked him on Skype last year on account of him obviously stalking me whilst I’m online. ). It made me smile but I also felt a pinch in my heart. I still miss him. I thought I got over him but I guess not. Why does it have to be complicated? Why do we have to pick? I know, I know… that’s a stupid question. I wouldn’t want someone cheating on me either. I just couldn’t really make up my mind. Couldn’t quite commit to it.

Hi Sweetie… I miss you…

I was just thinking about the good old days we had fun together…

You’re very sweet.

~ Will

He did send me messages over the holidays… Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Valentine’s day. I responded to these texts and made it brief. I wanted to make sure he knows that this is not going anywhere and any attempt on his part would be futile.

Yes, those were fun times. You’re sweet, too.

~ Marie

I mean, think about it, Frenchie and I are still in limbo and here I am blocking someone who professed his love and crossed thousands of miles to see me but I decided to stand him up. Ugh! Story of my life…

And now my Zohan is in the equation…

What am I doing?

Grosses bises ♥ Etoile

Vaginal Kung Fu… Black Belt in the making ;)

Posted on May 17, 2017 by Etoile 75007

In the beginning of February I discovered the Yoni eggs and Kim Anami.(The Well-F**ked Woman). Well, I take that back. I actually had the Jade Egg on my wish list last year as I was preparing to meet up with my Frenchie 😉 J/K but it didn’t push through with it for some reason then I found Kim Anami, the black belt in VKF or Vaginal Kung Fu… haha

So from there, I decided to commit to Vaginal Kung Fu. This activity involves stringing a yoni egg (I started with Jade) that has a drilled hole where you can attach a string, a bag, and some extra weights. I filled the bag with something heavy (rice is suggested for beginners.) and inserted the egg into my yoni (vagina) holding the egg in place while I moved my hips in various motions.

Going back to it. Valentine’s day was coming up and since I had no “real”romance in my life 😦 I figured I’d gift myself a set of Yoni eggs. It wasn’t easy to find the perfect one. I had to do some research. I called my friend Karen to check if she had any feedback as I couldn’t make up my mind on which I should get but to my amazement she’s never heard of Yoni eggs before. So I did my research from scratch and finally figured out what I would get for starters.

This is my starter kit that I bought from “genuinejadellc.com“. I was debating because there’s so much info out there. I had to read so many articles before I came to this decision and yoniegg.com was a very helpful website. And this is a good site to choose the right size.

Set of 3 Yoni Eggs: 3 Sizes and 3 Gemstones — Nephrite Jade(M), Rose Quartz(S) and Black Obsidian(L) Drilled; with one Box 55 Yards Unwaxed Dental Floss & User Instructions, for Pelvic Floor Muscles Massage -YETS4744 ($169.00 – $109.00)

Black Obsidian: Grounding. Protection stone. Clearing and shields negative energy. Activates and stimulates Base Chakra. Animal energy. Heals sexual trauma.
Nephrite Jade (darker green): Stone of health & vitality. Prosperity. Abundance. Transmutes negative to positive. Fertility. Kidney health.
Rose Quartz: Unconditional Love. Compassion. Peace. Forgiveness. Self Love. Heals the heart Chakra. Connects heart with the Yoni. Amplifying crystal. Attract romantic partner.

Yoni eggs are not only for women suffering from vaginal looseness. The vast majority of women with a vagina can benefit from a Yoni Egg practice… helping prevent vaginal atrophy, dryness and prolapse. Doing Yoni egg exercises helps you to isolate your vaginal muscles, increases blood flow and stirs up the libido. All of that is just the beginning! There are many energetic and spiritual benefits to a woman connecting deeply with this most sacred part of her anatomy.

Adding weight to your vaginal exercise is a trusted age-old practice. Increased lubrication, decreased incontinence, speedy postpartum recovery, more intense orgasms and a deeper connection to your divine feminine energy- every woman should experience the benefits! (Source: The Goddess Box) It apparently strengthens and tones your yoni, which gives extra sexual pleasure to both partners and brings yourself into alignment with your our sexual power — the wisdom and strength that comes when you let your yoni lead your life.

So I’ve been doing this on and off for a few weeks now and I wish I can tell you that I can feel the difference. But how do you test it really?

I have yet to find proof that it enhances the sexual experience between myself and my partner as there’s nothing and noone to compare it with. I hope to be able to share it with you sometime in the near future.

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF USING YONI EGGS?

Using yoni eggs have loads of benefits, including:

Increases connection with the Yoni (so many women are “cut off” from the waist down)

Increases sensation during sex / self pleasure

Revitalises nerve-endings in the vagina

Improves overall life-force energy or “chi” in the body

Boosts sexual energy levels and awakens the libido

Helps train the vagina for childbirth and recover the muscles post-childbirth

Increases wetness and lubrication (yes, yes, YES!)

Helps to prevent prolapse whereby the pelvic organs collapse into the vagina due to atrophy and non-use.

Relieves incontinence (weak bladder/accidentally peeing)

Balances hormones by increasing blood flow to the area, which contribute to youthfulness

Heightens orgasmic potential and able to access a variety of orgasms

Helps to stay grounded in body and brings awareness to the yoni, womb and entire pelvic band

Improves overall health, happiness and wellness – physically and spiritually – as the yoni egg focuses on the place in the body with the most Chi (life force energy).

Source: Rosierees.com

If you’re interested in purchasing Yoni eggs, here’s a list of 10 Best Yoni Egg Sellers.

http://www.polarjade.ca/shop/yoni-egg.html — why nephrite JADE and how to check authenticity

***Grosses bises* ♥ *Etoile***

WARNING: Like any kind of physical activity, it is recommended to consult with your medical professional prior to starting. Please DO NOT use the yoni eggs if it causes any pain or discomfort. Also, it is not recommended if you are pregnant, or using an IUD or similar contraceptives.