LDR… or je ne sais quoi???

So “Long Distance Relationship or Romance?” or just je ne sais quio… one of my girlfriends was arguing with me sometime in October that this was no LDR because we were thousands of miles away from each other and I never went out with him (in Paris). I turned him down and still refuse to see him when he offered to come and visit me here in the US because I’m not quite ready (still warming up). My argument was, it doesn’t matter that there’s that 5,000+ miles between us because a lot of people develop a relationship through the internet and I would like to see how this goes but for now I would like to stay friends and that is a relationship, hence, still an LDR.

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I decided to write about what exactly is an LDR…  for starters, we all know it stands for “long distance relationship”. I wanted to switch the R to “romance” just because… But what is it exactly? Is it an LDR if we haven’t really placed a “label” on this je ne sais quoi. coz we haven’t really… just coz we don’t want to… not just yet… “no pressure just pleasure” is kinda our thing. Well, I kinda like it for now.  Hmmm… doesn’t it sound like something a guy would say? 😉

 

First I’ll break it down…

LD = Long Distance.

Approximately 5,000+ miles of land and water separates us from each other. And the time difference doesn’t make it any easier.

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Relationship means…

  • a connection, association,  or involvement  between individuals
  • an emotional,  romantic. or “passionate attachment between people
  • a romantic or sexual friendship between two people
  • the way in which two or more people or things are connected

 

Romance means…[ romauns, from Old French romans, ultimately from Latin Rōmānicus Roman]… (noun) 1. a love affair, esp an intense and happy but short-lived affair involving young people; 2. love, esp romantic love idealized for its purity or beauty; 3. a spirit of or  inclination for adventure, excitement, or mystery; 4. a mysterious, exciting, sentimental, or nostalgic quality, esp one associated with a place.

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I can tell you that it’s not going to be easy… even with the abundance of different options in tech communication that may bridge the gap. It takes a lot of work, consistency, commitment and  big time TRUST for it to work. I  still don’t trust the guy. I think he’s full of shit…. well, sometimes…   If he weren’t so HOT! lol  I think he’s either married with a wife who lives far from Paris or he has lots of girlfriends or maybe both.  😉   But this is just me being paranoid… he could also just  be single and emotionally unavailable.

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I found this article  on  “3 Things that make long distance relationships stronger“…  It’s very enlightening… and insightful…  as well as this one… “18 little ways you can tell in the first month that your relationship is actually going to last“…  I think this should help you decide if it’s worth investing your time and energy on this LDR before it’s too late.

Anyway, I feel that our connection is undeniable… there’s definitely something going on. We have started early on calling each other endearing names. The ambiguity of our “relationship” is quite unsettling at times but the excitement it brings is  off the charts. I have never met a man who has blown my mind and rocked my world without even touching the tip of my finger. The high I get from our skype sessions stays with me for weeks on end. Oh-em-gee!!! There is a god!!!

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La vie est belle, n’est-ce pas?

 

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

 

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Breadcrumbing… is this the latest dating fuckery?

I’ve never heard of breadcrumbing until recently. Then it dawned on me that I’ve been a victim target and I wasn’t aware that was such a thing. Apparently, it’s also called “Hansel & Gretelling”, i.e., when one gives another just enough attention to keep their hope of a “relationship” alive. This is the most frustrating thing ever. It’s so confusing.

Thank God I have no patience for flakiness or I would’ve been victimized by these breadcrumbers. That would’ve been a waste of my precious time. Ugh! 🙄

Breadcrumbing’ is “the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages to members of the opposite sex in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort.” — Urban DictionaryAnd, while the act itself is just as awful as “ghosting”, I’d rather be ghosted and be able to move on than be lead on. The act of ghosting is rude, immature and cowardly but breadcrumbing is deceitful, malicious and just downright evil if you ask me.

Breadcrumbing is more insidious than it initially appears, it’s more like “gaslighting” where one starts questioning their sanity and think they’re going crazy after they’ve been manipulated. You end up second-guessing yourself — was there something there or did my mind just play tricks on me?

It’s interesting how this new era of dating has evolved into this. It’s so hard to trust people nowadays coz you don’t ever know which one will play you, or ghost you or bench you or breadcrumb you.

 

You cannot judge a book by its cover. The nicer the guy, the easier to fall, the harder it is to believe that you’ve been duped. All you will do is blame yourself… but don’t… don’t let these losers change you and make you hard.

Don’t lose faith in humanity.

There are still good people out there.

Just proceed with caution.

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

Two years already?!?!?

 

I got this message on my iPhone and I was blown away.

How time flies.

Two years already… really?!?!?!

 

I still remember vividly the years I spent trying to muster the courage to blog.

And the time I was so excited about my Frenchie that I felt unstoppable! So passionate about life… about LOVE! about writing and sharing my adventures and misadventures (if any).

 

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Anyway, two years and counting…  Wow!

Looking back, I can’t even begin to tell you how colorful my life has been the last couple of years. Don’t get me wrong… it hasn’t all been pink and red and all pastel and rainbow colors but I appreciate all the colors of the spectrum that life has brought me. It has made me a stronger and better person. It is a part of how I have been evolving and I embrace it wholeheartedly. I am so grateful for all the experiences that the Universe has brought my way.

 

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Thank you, Universe.

Thanks to everyone who has supported me in my journey and I hope to

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

Oh, mon Dieu!!! Oui! Oui! Oui!

 

“Omg!!! Tonight is the night!”, I thought to myself.

Yes, it is!

I am finally back in Paris…

 

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My Frenchie actually came to pick me up from my hotel… Oui!!! Oui!!!

Two long years we have waited to see each other.

Those times we talked about the things we wanted to do with each other… starting with that very long passionate kiss… oui!!!

I cannot believe this is actually happening.

then my phone rang…

he says he’s waiting downstairs outside the hotel.

I say I’m on my way down…

I hurry… I couldn’t run any faster…

I come out…

He was just standing there…

it is him…

in the flesh!

waiting…

with a very big smile…

I stop just past the steps…

he walks up to me…

he says, in his very sexy French accent, “first, that kiss I have been dreaming about… as promised… really big…yes?”

We both laughed then he kissed me… very passionately… and embraced me like he had not planned to ever let me go.

I do not know how long that kiss lasted. We were in the middle of the street of Montmartre in the middle of the night not caring that there were other French people walking by. It was like time stood still.

He held my hand and lead me towards Sacré-Cœur we walked around and talked. We tried to play catch up then he asked about what our plans were while I was in Paris.

Then I had to tell him what I couldn’t over the phone…

“I’m seeing someone now. Plans have changed. Those dreams and fantasies will have to remain just that… dreams and fantasies.”

I can see the pain in his eyes… it wasn’t easy for me either. But I did tell him from the start that I don’t do LDR’s anyway… him and I can never be.

I said, I just wanted to tell him in person. Sure, I had to fly to Paris for this?

I don’t know what I wanted him to do or say… as usual, he says “I understand”.

He holds me in his arms again but he doesn’t say anything. He looks into my eyes… kisses my forehead then he smiles.

We don’t talk… we just sat at the steps of Sacré-Cœur enjoying the view of the beautiful city of Paris. He held my head so I can lean on his chest as if to listen to his heart beat.

I don’t know how long we were there for… I didn’t want it to end. But then it started to drizzle… we looked at each other and knew it was time to get back. It was like the sky was also sharing our sadness.

We walked back to the hotel not saying anything to each other…

there was nothing left  to say.

As we got to the steps of my hotel, he kisses me again… almost like he did the first time but not quite.

It didn’t seem to me like that was going to be our last kiss.

Then he gives me a tight embrace and says… “Bonne chance ma belle princess.”

He steps back and stares at me… as if to memorize my face…

then turns around and walks away… 😢

 

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Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

 

PS

The gifs on here were in anticipation of what was to happen when we finally saw each other in Paris. I had not planned to be with anyone till after our tryst. But I guess fate has a funny way of playing with your heart. haha

Now that I’m with someone, it’s a major game changer for me. I tried to be just focused on my Frenchie now it will be different.

 

 

September

It’s September again. How time flies. Two years ago around this time, something happened that will change my life forever.

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When I heard this song I thought that this could be one of our songs. My Frenchie and I met around that week, it was a cloudy day. In fact, it rained which is how we met. Quite serendipitous!

If the universe had nothing to do with our paths crossing then I’ll be darned! LOL   😉

Anyway, I can’t contain my excitement!!!. I’ll be back next month in the same sweet spot where we met that one fateful night.

I still haven’t decided if we should meet up. We have been making plans though and I really don’t want to stand him up. It’s just that I’ve been so crazy about him I don’t know if it’s a good idea. Plus I’m seeing someone right now. I haven’t really committed yet coz at the back of my mind I know that I have to see my Frenchie. And If I had a bf that would be cheating so, no. I’m still pretty much single and available though this seems getting a little serious at this point. Idk, I’ll write about it at some point.

Anyway, I actually left him a message last month saying that I might not be able to see him in Paris after all cause my sched is pretty hectic. That was an attempt to dodge him. But he won’t take no for an answer. He says I refused to let him visit me here in the US and made him wait 2 years so it’s just fair. LoL

I told him I’ll call him as soon as I get to Paris.

I will.

The “coffee” is still on for now — 70/30 at least 😉

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

Tinder and Online Dating

My daughter had been bugging me to create a Tinder account since last year. I told her I didn’t care for that. She says, “Mom, it’s fun! You should check it out!” Well, I got a new phone and before I could set up the lock code she made an account from me and started swiping. Surprise! Surprise! I get these messages (notifications) from these hot, ripped, young(er) men and I had to ask… what the hell was going on?

I was hoping for men closer to my age if I were to start dating again. I didn’t really think I’d want to go out again for a while after the thing with Z went South… plus I’m still (probably) going to meet up with My Frenchie over coffee  😉 in Paris next month.

It’s next month already!?!?! Wow! How time flies.

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Anyway, I used this app for a month and dated a handful of guys just to get my feet wet in the dating scene.

These French firemen 🔥🔥🔥 will make women want to commit arson. LoL 😜 Omg! I didn’t realize that it’s actually raining men out there. Where have I been? I must’ve been hiding under a rock… literally. 🙄

Now I realized that the odds are on my side even though there are still men out there who haven’t outgrown their shady $hit and some mind games. I’m still feeling optimistic that it’s not that hard to find love for women my age. I have a strong feeling I’ll be able to find my King 👑 in no time.

Keeping my fingers crossed. 🤞

Grosses bisses ❤️ Etoile

Fuckboy…

I don’t know why but this word just crossed my mind… it seemed like the right word to describe Z (my Spring Fling).

I have been thinking about WTH was going on with Z. Was he a Narcissist? A Sociopath? I’m not sure he’s that bad.

Then, I checked out the Urban dictionary… I’ll just paraphrase and put together what people thought best describes a “fuckboy”.

 

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Hey, you up? No, I’m going to sleep forever just to avoid you. Bye!

 

I haven’t even heard of anyone using the term before. How did I think of it… and it’s actually a word?!?! LOL

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A fuckboy hopefully prepares us for the next adventure. He opens our eyes and helps us realize that we deserve better. We know our worth, and the standards that we need to set for our future relationships… so how do we end up with a poser? How do we miss the signs? We just have to be more careful and watch out for those blinders.

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Incidentally, I just watched the movie “Spread” starring Ashton Kutcher who’s a typical fuck boy in the movie. He’s young, charming and handsome, living the good life in Hollywood by giving rich, older women plenty of what they want: Great SEX!

 

I actually thought of telling Z to watch it and maybe he might learn a trick or two from Ashton to up his game coz it seems to me that he’s used to catching anchovies… not big fishes…  He just lost a big fish (moi)…  he has no clue when he’s already got a diamond in his hand. He really screwed up big time. But I am so glad I managed to get out when I did. He could’ve done major damage and jeopardized my job. Or maybe he’s really not that bad. Either that or he really doesn’t play the big leagues. Needless to say, I’m grateful that I got off unscathed. Almost!

Toy Boy – Bande-annonce (Français) HD

 

Bottom line, the fuckboy is now part of our past. Don’t look back. He is now someone we used to know. He no longer has a place in our hearts and our minds. We have taken back control. Now let us move on.

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If you have no idea if you’re with a fuckboy, check this out… 30 Signs You Are Dating A Fuckboy.

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile