Ever since I came back from Paris, I have felt that my heart has been overflowing with joy and gratitude. I don’t know what he did but whatever it was, it was like “magic”. I’m still experiencing the residual effects of it. Gosh! It’s just a few weeks shy of a year. Time flew fast. We’re still together… kinda… I know it’s not realistic to think that it will last. I did talk about it on one of my posts, the “hedonic treadmill theory”, on “Last Tango in Paris“.
I know for sure that I’m not in love with my Frenchie. But I value his presence in my life. He has no idea what he does to make it colorful. I may be infatuated with him. A little crush won’t do any harm. I looked up the meaning of it… “be inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for“. I guess that’s what it is. I don’t expect anything. I’m cool with this. I’m fine if I never see him again and fine if I do… even better 😉 It just seemed like good things kept on happening since I got back. It just somehow snowballed and I just got happier and happier.
I don’t know what he wants from me either. The most he has said to me was either “I like you Marie.”, “I miss you Marie.”or “I want you Marie.” I don’t know if he’s also trying to weigh things just like I am. We’re not getting anything out of this. Are we wasting each other’s time? I know he’s not wasting mine.
One thing I’m sure of is that I thank God that I have met him. And even if I feel that he can be an “idiot” sometimes. lol 😉 and it does frustrate me terribly. Oh, men!!! It’s just some of the stuff he does. He has never done anything to hurt me or offend me. He’s always been so very courteous and gentle and kind. If I can only clone him and have one of him here in America, next to me, in the comfort of my bedroom… oooh la la 😉
I’m not due for another post but then I found this article on my phone, I was dismayed. I felt a sense of urgency that I just have to post this for my fellow LDR ladies. You see, I clicked “update” yesterday on my WhatsApp without even paying attention. According to the article, WhatsApp betrayed its long standing commitment to privacy when it announced that : “WhatsApp will now start sharing user data with the company that owns it, Facebook.” … for the purpose of selling ads. Great! But hold your horses… existing users have 30 days to “opt out”. The article I’m talking about, You Should Update Your WhatsApp Settings Right Now, by William Turton. (Source: Gizmodo.com)
Here’s how you do it.
Then simply toggle the green switch off to opt out:
If you missed the early warning message, don’t worry. There’s still another way to opt out. Go toSettings > Account >Share my account info, then simply uncheck the box:
That’s it! Facebook won’t share the full list of things it will be collecting from WhatsApp so it’s probably a good idea to opt unless you enjoy letting multi-billion dollar technology companies harvest your data to make more money from advertisers. 🙂
My Frenchie sent me a text with the link to this song, “Marie“. He says it reminds him of me. Maybe because he calls me Marie. Well, that’s not even my name. Close, but still not my name. I have several names but this is not one of them. He fondly calls me “Ma bébé Marie”
I remember the night we met, he asked for my name and I gave him my nickname and he said, “isn’t that a guy’s name? ” I went… ” not how it’s spelled in America.” And we both laughed… So he asked what my real name was and I told him I had several and he wanted me to give it all to him and I did. Then he exclaims… “Like Marie Antoinette!!!” And he has called me “Ma bébé Marie” and other endearing words surrounding the name Marie since then… the rest is history… well at least in my head it is… lol 😉
This song made me all teary eyed… I’m not gonna lie… I almost fell for him… or maybe for Johnny Hallyday… one of them… OMG!!! Johnny is soooo H-O-T!!! Even in his 70’s… Oooooh la la!!! I’ll date him. 😉
I think Johnny is more sexy now than when he was younger … Chacun a son gout!
I found out Johnny (a.k.a. Jean-Philippe Smet) is considered the Elvis Presley of Europe and he’s still alive and to top it off he lives in my neck of the woods. Holy Shit!!! No way, Jose! I wanna watch his concert. First, I have to learn French. But who cares, it’s music to my ears. I’ll dance to it either way. I’ve been listening to his music since.
So there it is… he does it again… spins my world around. Shakes it… Rocks it… whatever you wanna call it. What am I gonna do with this guy??? Yeah, sure… call me a sucker… lol I’m a hopeless romantic ain’t I? Oh well, Chacun a son gout!
You must wonder about this photo… that’s exactly how I felt when I got a text and a video message this morning from my Frenchie. Surprise! Surprise! 🙂 Ok. I’m exaggerating a little bit… LOL but I did feel like dancing for reals! Just not like this… haha
I was running late for a meeting but I had to check the message I got when I heard it was from WhatsApp… that weird knocking sound… Anywho, I knew it was from my Frenchie. Yeeees!!! He says he was thinking of me and thought of sending me a quick “gift”… he likes to surprise me with “stuff” that makes me smile or laugh. He’s silly like that. The last time he sent me some video clips of him being silly, I was watching it for several weeks. I still watch it from time to time. It brings a big smile on my face.
So, I feel high, he definitely made my day… no, my whole week! I was too happy… and distracted. I almost passed a red light. Gosh! I was going to text him back but I said, I thought his “gift” deserved more than a text response so I responded with a video message, too. Whenever he sends me video messages, he wants to know if I “enjoyed” it or something like that. I’m thinking he means I think it’s entertaining or I find it funny. It’s kinda hard to understand when people are trying to translate words literally.
I make sure he knows it makes me happy. Maybe that’s what he wants to know. One day I did tell him that he’s a little piece of my happy pie … I think he liked that. 🙂 My flowers make me happy… a clear blue sky… my daughters… little kids… a stroll along the beach…
How long has it been since I ‘ghosted’ Will? It’s been a while. Yet, I couldn’t find it in my heart to block him on skype or viber. I can still see whenever he’s online or offline. I still feel the urge to say “hi” but I don’t. Sometimes I wonder what he’s thinking. If he still thinks about me. But I know better. I should just leave him alone. He still sends me texts from time to time but I fight the urge to respond. Doing so will just hurt him more. I want him to move on. It’s the “right” thing to do. Oh, me and my morals.
Tonight is different… there was something ominous in the air. Then I got a viber text, it was from Will… but it was a different kind of text. He said he just found out that his mom passed away. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t respond. I was just collecting my thoughts, trying to figure out where to start… how to start… what to say…
A few minutes after, my phone rang. I was getting a skype call. It’s Will. I picked up. He says, “Hello baby, you know who this is?” I said, “Of course, I am so very sorry about your mom. I can’t even start to…” He cuts me off. He started asking me about why I stopped talking to him and the time he came here in the US and how I “stood him off” and yada yada yada. I said, “Will, we can talk about that another time, I’m here to talk to you about your mom.” He calms down. He told me that he’s still in shock. She’s the only family he’s got besides his son. She died suddenly, now he has to worry about how to care for his son who his mom raised. Now he has to take care of sending her body to the UK so she can be buried next to his father which was her last wish. I can hear how overwhelmed he was. For a moment his mind was occupied, we didn’t have to argue. I’ll take it.
He says, “Hello baby, you know who this is?” I said, “Of course, I am so very sorry about your mom. I can’t even start to…” He cuts me off.
We must have talked for an hour or two. I lost track of time. I reassured him that I’ll be there for him. He was there for me after all when I was really down. Now I’m thinking… what am I going to do? We’re going to start communicating again. I don’t want him to think that it will be like it was before.
It’s getting late. I had to let him go. I was in deep thought… I’ll have to get used to that peculiar viber sound again for a little bit and figure out an exit plan later on. But for right now, I have to be the supportive friend. I know how devastating it is to lose a mom. He has been so kind to me and I have to be a buffer for right now. It hasn’t sank in. He’s still in shock… in denial… he hasn’t started to grieve… I have to be true to my word. I’ll be there for him.