Joyeux Noël… bonne année…we survived our 1st quarter… Woot!!!

Wow! I can’t believe we’re still going… after writing at least 4 goodbye emails that I haven’t sent to him (yet) we’re still here… 🙂

3 long months and a week… Yes!

I didn’t expect to hear from him til after Christmas since I thought he’d be too busy with his kids who live quite a distance from Paris but I got a “Merry Christmas… etcetera + misc. emojis” text from him just a few minutes before midnight (Paris time)… I felt elated! Considering his track record… that was a big deal.

It’s still quite a roller coaster ride for me… he confuses me at times. Well, almost every week… am I blind???  who is too busy to not be able to send a response in a timely manner… like within a day at least… maybe he’s just not that into me. Yup! talk is cheap… I’m so close to ditching him… but he fills a spot right now so he’ll be my “Mr. Right Now”… I’m just too busy… my plate is too full that starting a new relationship is too far away from my mind… unless he falls on my lap from heaven above… haha 😉

So I’m gonna see how this goes… I’m so curious how it’s going to turn out… either way I have already controlled myself from investing more emotions and energy on whatever this is…

Bonne année!!! I can’t wait for whatever 2016 has in store for me…




Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

Plagued by doubt… is the green eyed monster lurking???

It’s been a couple of months since my FM and I started chatting… I just realized that we never talk on the weekends coz he works his other job and it’s really hectic… or ” veree beezee!!!” as he says it… 😉     but he’s hoping it will get better this coming 2016 as he says he can’t function like this with lack of sleep, not having time to play sports or hit the gym among other important things.

He already warned me sometime in November that he has a lot of “projects” and that his weekends are really busy and  usually tells me mid-week that it’s “crazy”… The  first few weeks were plagued by doubt… even though he has prepared me to expect him to be MIA from Fri til Mon. or Tues.

I thought early on that he may have had a change of heart (about  this LDR) over the weekend… who doesn’t respond to texts or emails for 3-4 days??? It really bothered me coz he appears to be really excited to see me or talk to me every time then the silence… sigh! I do mirroring for the most part though. If he’s too busy to text back in a timely manner then I do, too. Sometimes I wait a couple of days but it eats me up though coz I really think it’s rude not to respond promptly… How busy can one get not to be able to send a one liner???

There was a time where I thought that he decided to just “ghost” me… Though ditching someone without giving a reason is generally less often the fault of the unfortunate “ghosted” and more often the wrongdoing of an insensitive “ghoster” it would still hurt like hell no matter how selfish, immature and undeserving of us we think the other person is.

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One time I wrote a goodbye email thinking that I may have said something to offend him… that was the first time but he sent me a very sweet, apologetic and detailed email so that was it. The following time, it was another long weekend and I saw that he was online (no, I wasn’t stalking him) so I called him against my better judgement and he didn’t pick up so I left a VM and still he took a while (hours) to respond but left me a lengthy sweet VM.  And surprised me with yet another lengthy email out of the blue apologizing for going MIA over the weekend and finally admitting that I was on his mind “all the time” (sigh!). It was a big deal for me to hear that coz I teased him about that the first few weeks and he couldn’t tell me that he thought about me a lot… so I guess it’s getting better. He also mentioned in his VM that he thinks of texting me just to let me know that he’s thinking about me and he wants me to know what’s keeping him busy.

Also, a couple of weeks ago, he responded on a Fri. or Sat.. Yes!!! Win!!! That’s the first time we actually communicated on a weekend… and last weekend, he left a very sweet and long text message. I guess things are getting better… I’m keeping my fingers crossed that 2016 will be better for us esp. now that he has expressed his desire to visit me in the US.

I don’t call or text him on the weekends coz I don’t want to bother him if he really is in fact at work… and I was also thinking that there might be a possibility that he may be with his sons who are just toddlers, I think. He says I can call and text anytime and if he’s available he’ll pick up but I leave the calling with him… in the almost 3 months we’ve been communicating, I have only called him twice and one of the was 11.13.15 coz I was so worried that he may have been hurt during the terrorist attack in Paris.

It has crossed my mind that he’s out of touch on the weekends coz he may be married or maybe have a girlfriend but I have decided to trust and let time tell…  but for right now my intuition tells me that he’s truthful… my mind may be clouded but I’ll go with my gut for the time being.

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

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Je t’aime Paris et mon cœur est avec vous

It has been a month since that act of terrorism in Paris. I found out about it while I was chatting with my Canadian friend about my Frenchie. And out of the blue he goes, “so how’s your friend?” I said he’s fine and he goes. “coz there’s a terrorist attack going on in Paris as we speak”. I freaked out. It was the first time I actually called him. I was so worried that something bad had happened to him.

I spent the next hour or so praying for his safety and for the other victims  and hoping he would call me as soon as he can.  He texted me to let me know he was fine and that he couldn’t call coz he had lo batt and he  was trying to check on his friends and family. That was fine by me. At least I know I can breath a sigh of relief. I was glued to the TV trying to find out the extent of the act of terrorism the next few days after that. It was surreal… I was just in Paris a few weeks ago… I noticed heavy military presence in a lot of public places. How can this happen? How was this not prevented?

Since this terror attack in Paris, the phrase même pas peur! (mem pah purr) has been pretty visible and popular in a lot of photos I’ve seen on TV and the internet so I became curious and found this very useful website (check link).  Même pas peur is a French expression meaning  “you don’t scare me” or “I’m not a bit afraid!” when confronted with something or someone daunting. I admire the French people for taking this stand against terrorism. I dread the day that suicide bombers would inhabit America just like how common it is in Israel.

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My Frenchie told me that by Monday, it seemed like the people in Paris went back to their normal routines. They refuse to be terrorized by these sadistic animals.  The French indeed are very resilient people. First Charlie Hebdo and now this…


Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile



(01.14.16) I just found this blog with more detailed info about that weekend… check it out…

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