My LDR Wish List for when we finally meet again…

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It’s been several days since I last blogged and  I couldn’t find a good enough topic to write about… I’ve just been daydreaming about the day that my Frenchie and I would finally meet again… we just had a lengthy discussion about that the last time we Skype’d… Gosh! my heart melted when he said that he just keeps on thinking about the day that he’ll finally kiss my lips at the airport… and that he couldn’t wait to hold me close and wrap his arms around me so tight and never let me go. Yeah, sounds like a song… he’s very poetic… my daughter thinks he’s too old to be so mushy… teenagers!!!  😉  haha.   He was staring at my lips and my face so hard while he was saying it and I knew I was blushing so bad my face was flushed… lol
Of course, it goes without saying that this meeting  will be surrounded by “romance” and these things (list) would be a crammed up in the one or 2 weeks that we’ll be together… I suggested to just meet somewhere in the East Coast for starters so it’s not too far of a trip for him (kinda midway between Paris and my place) though I’ll be seeing him again in Paris next year (God-willing.) I think he liked the idea. So that’s what we’ll do (tentatively).

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So here’s a list of stuff that we talked about so far… I’m sure it will get longer as the date gets closer. I’m so excited!!!

  1. Engage in PDA’s (Public Display of Affection)… Lot’s of it 😉 … I heard the French are known for that… Thank God!!! — I know we’re going to start at the airport and  we’re going to ignore all the “Get a room!!!”  comments if ever… LOL
  2. Kiss him good night (til we fall asleep?  lol )
  3. Kiss him good morning 🙂
  4. Cuddle and stare into each other’s eyes til we fall asleep — must be nice…
  5. Kiss on top, under, around the Eiffel tower &/or Central Park (takes lots of photos and post on Instagram &/or other social media)
  6. Picnic at the beach and watch the sunrise and sunset
  7. Attend a concert
  8. Go camping/hiking
  9. Take a short road trip
  10. Volunteer together
  11. Go to an Ashram and stay for a week to study yoga
  12. Watch a “rom-com” movie
  13. Watch a broadway play/show or ballet/opera
  14. Go on a “fancy” dinner date
  15. Kiss in the rain &/or snow
  16. Make snow angels
  17. Kiss under a mistletoe
  18. Kiss during NY Eve countdown
  19. Get a couple’s massage
  20. Make out in a hot tub
  21. Enjoy a bubble bath surrounded by rose petals, candle light and champagne
  22. Go bike riding around town
  23. Learn a sexy dance (Salsa or Tango)
  24. Attend a family get-together
  25. Play 21 questions
  26. Play truth or dare
  27. Play a drinking game
  28. Prepare dinner and  eat together
  29. Serve him breakfast in bed
  30. Watch the Northern Lights
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Is there a better place to get engaged than the city of love??? Venice maybe??? ooooh la la

I found these sites with excellent LDR wishlist activities/ideas so I plan to visit them when I have the time to read and update my list…

1. 104 Long Distance Relationship Activities

2. OVER 130 THINGS TO DO TOGETHER ONLINE & IN REAL TIME!

3. LDR Bucket List

 

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

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Serendipity

It’s V-day but I am in limbo. I could not find the inspiration or the strength to write or say anything to my dear Frenchie. He sent me the sweetest and most thoughtful text and voice message a few days ago and I just gave him a brief and unromantic response saying that I will respond to him soon. I am stuck in this “analysis paralysis” situation again.

I initially intended to send him a photo of my derriere in a cute bikini with the caption I like you with all my butt… I would’ve said heart but my butt’s bigger…”  😉  I know it’s not original but I thought it was cute and funny and my only intent is to make him smile. I saw it somewhere and it was LOVE not LIKE and I wouldn’t want to use the L word… not even sure if I’d like to say I “like” him yet. I definitely do not want to confuse him. Anyway, I decided against it and here I am blogging instead… he must be thinking that I’m ghosting him already… lol

Serendipity

 

I think it’s just a little sticky to send him a message around this time just coz of the romance surrounding this holiday.  We still haven’t labeled “us” and  it is what I wanted anyway isn’t it… so who’s to blame? Moi!!! nobody else… And I always thought it’s a little cheesy to celebrate V-day on the same day, too. I would really not want to give him mixed signals coz I’m pretty confused with what I want  at this point. I know for sure that I miss him so much and I wish he lived so close and that I could be with him right this moment. But he’s thousands of miles away and we don’t really know each other and I don’t know if I can trust him, or if he can ever make me feel safe and I know for sure that I don’t want an LDR… it won’t work for me. Aaaaaaaaah!!! I’m getting frustrated!!!

 

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I watched the movie, The Tourist, (starring Angelina Jolie & Johnny Depp)  last night and sure enough it brought me back to those serendipitous days in Paris and Venice last summer. I would love to find my Alexander Pearce. I would like to be Elise to someone who would not only take a bullet for me but also summon me to the ball… romance me and dance with me… wine and dine me next to the Venezia canal… the jewelry and all the excitement would just be icing on the cake. Until now I ask God why He has made our paths cross that one night in Paris. I don’t believe in coincidences but there were a few things that happened that night which contributed to this domino effect where there was a brief instance where my Frenchie and I were all alone and he managed to ask for my number. (Believe me, I was ALWAYS with my friends. There was NO WAY, he could’ve asked for my number if it were not for “divine intervention”).

 

I would love to find my Alexander Pearce. I would like to be Elise to someone who would not only take a bullet for me but also summon me to the ball… romance me and dance with me… wine and dine me next to the Venezia canal… the jewelry and all the excitement would just be icing on the cake.  ~~~  Etoile

 

Now, almost half a year has passed and my life has changed… I’m not the same woman that went to Paris last summer… I have evolved… transformed if you may…  and I’m still in the process of self-discovery. I’m enjoying this journey and I cherish every single experience…

I had no idea how this man from the other side of the world have inspired me to do so much of the stuff I used to  have reservations for. It’s like he opened my mind, heart and spirit  to a lot of possibilities… to be bold and just not be scared of life.

Is it because he is young? a free spirit? because he’s French???  is it his culture? I don’t know… I don’t care, really… I just want to embrace it. I feel liberated for once.

There’s so much to do… so little time? not really… I just have to start now…

 

 

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

 

 

P.S. I just have to add… I actually wrote this piece days before the 14th ready for V-day posting. I didn’t expect  any more messages from him since he already left a couple for me with not much of a response from yours truly {and he’s taking care of very important family (kids) stuff over the weekend — welcome to dating a guy with kids…  😉  }. So imagine when I woke up on V-day and I saw a couple of V-day messages on my phone… my heart melted…. I floated!!!… I was on cloud 9 the whole day!!! only the ladies can relate… OMG!!!! He remembered!!! and I thought V-day was just for lovers. So are we legit now? It must mean something, right?… I know I shouldn’t analyze too much but my ex couldn’t even remember our anniv. that fell on V-day for years and this guy remembered to at least send me a greeting from across the globe. Go figure… That must make somebody feel important… Moi!!!  And FYI, I decided to send the derriere greeting   😉  after that. He almost had a heart attack. LOL

 

 

 

Love Bombing

It’s Valentine’s week… the week of L-O-V-E and it’s so timely to talk about love. Incidentally, I found this article about “love bombing”.

Love Bombing , what an interesting concept. Apparently, it is a  “seductive tactic that is used when someone who is manipulative tries to control the relationship with bombs brimming with “love” right from day one”.  I didn’t even know this was a thing until I found this article on elephant journal.  ” It often takes place within whirlwind romances and is usually directed by sociopaths or narcissists. ”

I had to be still and do some soul searching to figure out if I ever have been a victim of this in the past and I thank God that I have not. My relationship with my ex-husband was similar to the style of love bombing except it was real… or was it? I always told my daughters that if it were not for my ex-husband’s drug problems, womanizing, and immaturity, I would have stayed with him. My daughter thinks I’m trying to be funny… He was the sweetest, most romantic and most generous man I’ve ever been with.  It was like he got plucked out of the silver screen… He’s also  narcissistic and a sociopath… at least I think he is… He was too good to be true when we were just dating. But we were also co-dependent and it was a very unhealthy relationship. Oh, how did I forget to mention that he was also emotionally, mentally and physically abusive??? The scars are still fresh…

It was typical of a love bombing relationship according to the article… “ …such a dizzying experience it can take a little while to grasp the reality of what is actually taking place… due to the bombardment of actions that may appear very similar to “love” but that are extremely overwhelming and deliberately perpetrated. So much so that the bombing can effectively sweep people off their feet and cause high levels of infatuation, as the target is unaware that it is a manipulative means to gain attention. The approach does not give the person being bombed time to think straight or to assess whether the bomber is genuine or not as the relationship moves through the stages at full speed. Love bombing is initially carried out through excessive phone calls, text messages, emails, the constant desire to be in close contact whether virtual or physical and the desire to be connected almost every moment of every day.  http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/01/love-bombing-a-seductive-manipulative-technique/

Then I thought about my Frenchie all of a sudden… he is kinda bordering on the narcissistic side… or is he just naturally a proud French man? I don’t see any of this in him. He seemed pretty straight up from the start. He has not seemed to try to lead me on at all. He actually seems guarded and very careful in choosing the words that come out of his mouth and I’m thinking that this may just be because he’s just careful that some may be lost in translation from French to English and he does not want to confuse me. I have seen progress since December. He has started to open up and used “feely” words. He is more affectionate and has shown more interest in future plans with me and being together though we have not talked about the  possibility of starting a relationship since I laid my cards from the get go that since I was going to start graduate school in 2016 I had no intentions of being in a relationship until I earn my degree so that is my focus and he said he understood.  How fortunate I am?

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

 

NOTE: Please check out… Did I just get Love Bombed? No $hit!!!

It’s official… I am a Francophile.

I have not encountered the word francophile until I met my Frenchie and started learning about the French culture… or maybe since I met a lot of very nice French people when I finally traveled to France … much to my amazement as I have heard a lot of negative things about the French after years of living in America so I was pretty guarded when I went to France. I have heard about French arrogance from people who traveled to France and from comedians who thought it was a good material to add it in their skits.

My first stop was Lourdes and I just loved the French people I encountered during my 4 days there… they were very warm, friendly and accommodating, unlike the stuff I heard in the States so I told my friends about it and they said “watch til you get to Paris… they’re different, very rude and arrogant…” My friends travel a lot and have been to Paris several times so I figured they know what they’re talking about. So I thought I’ll find out when I get there. It was the exact opposite. In fact, my trip to Paris was serendipitous… I’ll tell you more about it in another blog.

I fell in love with Paris. I felt that the week I spent there wasn’t enough.  I did feel that Versailles was too overrated but I didn’t experience just chillin’ on the sides and riding a bike and  having a picnic… eating a baguette… enjoying my wine… I felt rushed. I didn’t appreciate the opulence of the place. I can’t wait to go back. My friends just wanted to go thru the motion… look around, take photos and go. I wanted to  stop, feel the breeze against my skin, smell the flowers, take a deep breath and take it all in.

I also have to say that I looove this guy… Cyprien Iov… — he’s soooo funny!!! Thank goodness for subtitles. I’m trying to learn to speak French but I don’t think I’ll be good until I actually immerse myself in that culture. But just watching his monologues and the funny $h!t he says about the US, Spain, Romania, etc…  and other things are just leaving me hysterical. And I bet he says some stupid $h!t about my favorite show The Walking Dead, too bad closed captioning is in French so I’ll have to slowly figure out how to translate it to English to finally get a kick out of his  vid clip.

Now, I even find myself arguing with the ignorant stereotypes that people say about the French. I hate it!!!  Am I defending the French in general or just my Frenchie? Who knows… am I now being more objective or am I seeing their side because of my FM?  I will know more as I learn more about French culture as as I figure out if it’s actually worth my time or if it’s a waste of time.  Though learning something new is always a good thing… ain’t that right!

TTFN!

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

Finding “True Love”…to Think is to Create…

I feel inspired to write so soon… I still feel high from that almost 2 hour super hot and passionate skype session with my Frenchie yesterday. I’ll spare you the deets ;-)… OMG!!! I spent the whole day yesterday daydreaming about Paris in my bed… I felt like his body was next to mine… yada yada yada… Is it the month of love or what? Love is really in the air… or it may just be pure lust in our case… or maybe a mixture of both… haha

I picked the “Up” house as my featured image because this movie makes me still believe in true love.  I can’t help but cry every time I watch it because it reminds me of my grandpa and grandma.  I remember that at my grandfather’s funeral, we read the eulogy he wrote for when he thought he was going to die of cancer years ago. In his eulogy, he mentioned that he was not scared of death, he was more scared to leave my grandmother on her own… he loved her so much that he spoiled her… she was totally dependent on him. My grandmother never learned how to drive. Gramps called her on his lunch break every single day until he retired. She died a few years before he did. He didn’t sell the house or got rid of her stuff. He took her urn wherever he traveled (I know some people may find it creepy but it seemed very romantic at that time.) until the time of his death. Gramps had asked to be cremated then both of their ashes were taken at the same time to the Basilica at their hometown as their final resting place.

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This quote reminds me of their love story… of how much my grandpa loved her… He was a brave man. He was not afraid of cancer. He was not afraid to die… but he was not ready to die because he wanted to take care of her til the end… coz he promised her forever. One day I wish I could find my one true love. I have found him in the past and I lost him (but it was all my fault) … I am grateful  for that because there’s a lot of people in this world who can’t say that they have found their one true love in their lifetime. I still have faith that I will meet him in my future and I know in deep my heart that it is not my Frenchie. I know that while my Frenchie keeps that spot in my heart or brain or whichever space it is he’s occupying right now within me, I won’t be able to open up that space for my one true love but I am willing to wait to enjoy this bliss and excitement that my Frenchie provides at this moment.

I found this video “Finding love: a video about seeing what we look for” … it is so true… we really attract what we focus on. Based on my experience, it actually manifests. And that is what I am going to do from now on. I will be more mindful of my thoughts… more guarded of what I would like to manifest… pay attention and attract my one true love… very soon… but for now… enjoy my blissful moments with my  delicious Frenchie and remain his “precieuse belle princesse dulcinée”  (precious lady love beautiful princess) for the meantime.

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

 

Love or Infatuation ???

OhMyGosh!!! We just passed the 4 months mark!!! Well, kinda sorta…

Who would’ve thought we’d get this far… actually, I finally sent him a 5+minute  “thank you &  goodbye” voice message  a few days ago which he answered right away and he said we should talk and I caved!!! Yes, I caved!!! What is wrong with me???

Anyhooo… after that it was back to back hot and spicy make up “you know what”… of course over the internet… LoL 😉 Well, it was mostly him coz I’m really what you call prudish but in my own way I definitely rocked his world (his words… haha)

So,  I found some articles about love and infatuation and I’m starting to think that I may be strongly infatuated with my Frenchie. I don’t know if this should make me glad or sad but I know I’m enjoying this for the moment. I have already accepted the fact that this may not go anywhere besides I have also decided that he’ll be my “Mr. Right Now” so no biggie. I just really have to control this barrage of emotions coz it’s definitely taking over my psyche.

The problem is, he’s starting  to sound like he’s actually falling for me…. his “precieuse belle princesse dulcinée” …  Like, do I care??? I guess I do… but it still doesn’t cancel out the fact that I think he may be a player. Yup! I said it… and it’s not just coz he’s a smooth talking suave sexy Frenchman… it’s just a gut feeling that I have deep down in my core… and I know I should listen to it but for some reason I chooose to ignore it for now coz I’m still having fun… lots of it… lol 😉

he’s actually falling for me…. his “precieuse belle princesse dulcinée

So am I really infatuated with this man? What is INFATUATION, anyway?  Infatuation is like a dream. It’s having a relationship with a fantasy in your mind verses the actual person. Infatuation or ” Romantic Love” in not real love… You think obsessively about these details, and you try to decide how the person feels about you based on these somewhat trivial qualities.  I saw this article by Ann Landers about the difference between Love and Infatuation. It’s a good short read…

 

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So does this mean I’m in love coz  we passed the 4 months mark? Nope!!!

When you’ve been crushing on someone for a while, sometimes it’s hard to know if the butterflies you get every time they’re nearby means you really like or ~love~ them, or if it’s just because you’ve built them up so much in your head.

I know for a fact that when you’re in love you put the other’s best interest over your own first then you know that the feeling of having to sacrifice something equates to love.

The best definition of love was Scott Peck’s on The Road Less Travelled: ”
Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth… Love is as love does. Love is an act of will — namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love. ~~~ M. Scott Peck

Falling in love feels like an accidental occurrence to many people, but in spiritual terms it is not — it is the entrance point to love’s eternal journey.Deepak Chopra

Note to self… watch  “Lovesick” (Matt Leblanc)  on V-day…  daydream that I’m watching it with my Frenchie… lol

 

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile