What do you want?


When I wrote about the kissing in the rain blog post, I ended up watching this scene (“fight scene” video clip). I thought that their kissing in the rain scene was my most favorite… 



… til I saw this then I realized  that this is the best part. How he knew her so well… maybe better than she knew herself. He reminded me of my Mr. Almost Right. I never really let any man in after him. I couldn’t take the risk of having my heart broken like that again. Yes, I know that I was the one who left him (twice… or was it thrice?) but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt me. 



Anyway, I feel that I gravitated towards this scene. I can relate. It hit close to home… like, bulls eye close. I have always listened to my parents. Yes, I am that child. The little miss goody two shoes. I left my first true love (and maybe the only one I have really loved in every sense of the word) because my dad couldn’t accept him.



Well, there were other things but that was the biggest deal breaker. Eloping did cross my mind but I was Daddy’s girl and I couldn’t break my dad’s heart like that. We were together for about 7 years and were planning to get married when my dad suddenly decided to ship me out of the country. But it didn’t end there. We got back together briefly coz he was still in love with me after so many years. Our paths crossed again years after that. I was a single mom then. But it’s a long story, I’ll share in another post.

Are you a “hopeless romantic” like me?

What are your fave romance movie scenes?

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

Never be like you

I heard this song and I liked the rhythm but I didn’t really get what it meant til I asked my daughter what it was about. Then it sank in.

I don’t know what to say. I’m out of words. This made me think… I guess it doesn’t really pertain to us… not in a physical way, anyway.

I can never get mad at my Frenchie. He has not done anything to make me mad at him.

Frustrated maybe.

Disappointed sometimes.

But I can never get mad at him.

Ever… I don’t think.



Never be like you

What I would do to take away
This fear of being loved, allegiance to the pain
Now I fucked up and I’m missing you
Never be like you
I would give anything to change
This fickle minded heart that loves fake shiny things
Now I fucked up and I’m missing you
Never be like you

I’m only human can’t you see
I ma-I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything’s okay
‘Cause I got it
Oo ooh
Never be like you

Why do I make you want to stay
Hate sleeping on my own, missing the way you taste
Now I’m fucked up and I’m missing you
Never be like you

Stop looking at me with those eyes
Like I could disappear and you wouldn’t care why
Now I’m fucked up and I’m missing you
Never be like you

I’m only human can’t you see
I ma-I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything’s okay
‘Cause I got it
Ooo ooh
Never be like you

I’m falling on my knees
Forgive me, I’m a fucking fool
I’m begging darling please
absolve me of my sins, won’t you


I’m falling on my knees
Forgive me, I’m a fucking fool
I’m begging darling please
Absolve me of my sins, won’t you

I’m only human can’t you see
I ma-I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything’s okay
‘Cause I got it
Oo ooh
Never be like you



Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile


Yoni Eggs… how to care for your eggs

I was ecstatic when I received my Yoni Eggs in the mail. I couldn’t wait to use it. The first thing I did was to google how I can sterilize it before I insert it in my yoni. I wouldn’t want to end up with an infection which defeats the purpose of all this work. Keep in mind that prior to each use you must prepare your egg(s) both energetically and physically. Always sterilize your egg before each use, and clean after every use.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m not quite ready to do some heavy weight lifting just yet  (see Vaginal Kung Fu) but I’ll get there. I don’t see myself lifting chandellier’s, or a surfboard with my yoni like Kim Anami: The Well-F**ked Woman, though. But that would be a feat. 😉  LOL


I found out that there’s a couple of ways to sterilize it. Though I read somewhere that it’s fine to just wash it with soap and water but according to Dr. Jen Gunter, a San Francisco based OB-gyn, jade is porous and can trap bacteria, increasing the risk of bacterial vaginosis or deadly toxic shock syndrome. There’s only one article that states how this may lead to infection (that I have discovered) but I would not take so much of a risk.

There’s a couple of ways to sterilize the egg, one is to use alcohol (v0dka or brandy) and the other way is using a hot water bath. You may place the yoni egg(s) in a  small, shallow bowl or glass and  douse it with vodka or brandy (NEVER use rubbing alcohol).

Hot Water Bath Instructions: 

  • Boil 2 cups of water (Never boil the egg directly! It may damage the egg.)
  • Pour water in a bowl or glass.
  • Let it cool enough to touch.
  • You may add apple cider vinegar, tea tree oil or lavander oil (optional)
  • Submerge the yoni egg in the water for 10-15 minutes.

NOTE: Do Not put your egg in  BOILING WATER! Do Not MICROWAVE your EGG! NEVER use rubbing alcohol! 

Once you’re done sterilizing your yoni eggs, it’s time to recharge its energy. You may smudge it with sage to cleanse the energy of the egg. Simply light it up, gently blow the flame out and fan the smoke over your egg letting the smoke envelope the yoni egg while you declare positive affirmations and intentions. You may use whatever smudge method you wish, such as palo santo, sweetgrass, essential oil spray. Also, you may set the egg  by the window under direct sunlight or under the full moon to charge it up. You may also give your egg a salt bath. Just submerge your egg in a bowl of saline water (add 2 tsp sea salt) for energetic cleansing of the egg.

Another tip I read somewhere is that you may bury the egg in EARTH. To do it properly, declare positive affirmations and intentions and actually bury it “IN THE EARTH”. When possible, find a peaceful, sunlight enriched spot of one’s yard that you can bless with prayer or, even better, a special ‘garden box’ made of wood, terra cotta or clay (or a simple CLAY pot for convenient mobility). The egg will assimilate the positive energy and thought devoted to its care and respond in like kindness.


Now you are ready to insert your egg inside your yoni.  It is recommend that you take a bath, light a candle, pamper yourself and massage your breasts and nipples because it helps to prepare your yoni for this process. The massage aids in easy insertion by naturally lubricating the vaginal canal. Relax. Try to get a sense if your body is ready then insert the egg large side up. For some reason I felt comfortable and ready for my yoni egg and somehow skipped all these. My yoni enveloped my egg straight away. Some of you may feel the need to use lubricants to aid in insertion. Make sure you use organically grown fatty plant oils that are naturally soothing, healing and emollient rich such as coconut oil, cacao butter or jojoba oil. Avoid anything synthetic including water-based lubes.

For new users like myself, please check out gemstoneyonieggs.com‘s article “Yoni Egg User Guide: Cleanse, Charge, Use so you can learn how to use and care for your yoni eggs. This site is full of information about yoni eggs and and other things and she sells them on her website, too.

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

my Yoni Eggs

Yay! I just received my first Yoni Eggs… now I can test its powers. I am now ready for a spiritual transformation and be in alignment with my sexual power… to develop an intimate and loving relationship with my yoni, my entire body, and ultimately myself. I’m not quite ready to do some heavy weight lifting just yet  (see Vaginal Kung Fu) but I’ll get there. I don’t see myself lifting chandellier’s, or a surfboard with my yoni like Kim Anami: The Well-F**ked Woman, though. But that would be a feat. 😉  LOL




It was pretty challenging for me to pick my first yoni egg(s). I couldn’t decide whether I should get 1, 2 or 3 or which size(s) to get first. And there are so many gemstones to choose from. I read somewhere that you should base it on your intuition and my intuition dictated that I should buy  a 3-pack for starters, 3 different sizes for the 3 different stages and 3 different gemstones. I was sure I was going for a Nephrite Jade which was the most popular and I was pulled by the Rose Quartz and the Black Obsidian. And there’s the thing about drilled and undrilled. Decisions, decisions. Ugh!


This is what I purchased. A set of 3 Yoni Eggs: 3 Sizes and 3 Gemstones — Nephrite Jade(M), Rose Quartz(S) and Black Obsidian(L) Drilled; with one Box 55 Yards Unwaxed Dental Floss & User Instructions,  for Pelvic Floor Muscles Massage -YETS4744 ($169.00 – $109.00)



One thing I was sure of is that I wanted to get a medium Nephrite Jade so it didn’t really matter whether the rose quartz or black obsidian was small or large. But here’s what I found out about the sizes (see images below). Plus I also opted for the drilled ones because I want to  keep my options open about putting weights later on. The drilled hole is also there so you may attach a string to  the yoni egg where you can attach weights to the end of the string which is a quirky but fun way to strengthen your pelvic floor. Another reason I picked “drilled” is for peace of mind that I have the option to pull it out with the string if I have to. (It is recommended that you take it out naturally without pulling it from the string.) Do not worry about the yoni egg getting stuck in there… rest assured it won’t happen. With the natural weight of the egg, it will always find its way out, especially when you have relaxed your muscles and give it a little push.

I picked the Nephrite Jade because it’s the most powerful, the most clearing, the traditional one used by women in ancient China, and the best to start with. IIt’s a darker jade, deep green, almost black. The egg will get lighter in color, with use; if you feel like it’s been drained of energy, recharge it in the full moon just the way you would a crystal.

Nephrite jade is associated with cleansing, health, abundance, beauty, longevity, and healing for the heart. Make sure your nephrite jade is  genuine. They usually come with certificates of authenticity.

The second most common yoni egg is Rose Quartz, which is more gentle, and brings in more love energy. But the jade is the most powerfully cleansing; go with the jade first then when you’re more practiced, you can use rose quartz to bring in love and heal wounds, in a gentler way.




For starters, you can use the Large Yoni Egg if you need to strengthen your pelvic floor for any reason or if you’ve given birth to one or more children. Due to its size and weight, it gives the vaginal muscles more resistance so it is a  great option for kegel work. You can pick a  Medium Yoni Egg if your pelvic floor is strong and don’t need much strengthening even after multiple childbirth. This is great for spiritual work and at the same time it maintains pelvic strength and health. If you pick Jade as a gemstone, you can also sleep with it. For advanced users who want to challenge themselves, you can choose  the Small Yoni Egg.  You can use both medium and small yoni eggs in combination to work with two different energies at the same time.


Female practice that involved using stone eggs is estimated to be 5000 years old. Eggs carved out of jade were used by empresses and concubines of  the royal palace in China to access sexual power, awaken sensuality and maintain amazing health into their old age. For a very long time this secret practice was only available to members of the royal family, and up until recently – to select Taoist practitioners. (Source: yoniegg.com)



The following info are the ones I gathered from an article by gemstoneyonieggs.com “Yoni Egg Metaphysical Guide” about the properties of the yoni eggs. Thanks to Alalyak  for sharing this site with me and for giving other info and feedback about this process that’s so foreign to me.

Yoni eggs_OBSIDIAN_11cc8cd984cbde5e90d7ae2910bbe93a_1024x1024.png

Black Obsidian:

  • Properties: psychic protection, grounding, cleansing, clearing, spirit communication, healing, renewal.
  • Chakra: Root

Black obsidian yoni eggs eliminates negative energies and blockages in oneself and ones environment. It’s like a psychic vacuum cleaner, cleansing the auric field of disharmony, negative attachments, astral “junk,” as well as ones own anger, greed, fear, resentment, etc.

It’s a strong grounding stone stimulating the root chakra and also a strong stone for spiritual protection. In addition, it helps bring one’s own shadow material out of exile. allowing it to be transmuted through the heart. It aids in recalling the exiled bits from the unconscious, even from past lives.

Obsidian yoni eggs are a great aid to healing the body and soul as well as a woman’s womb by releasing past problems from sexual abuse, pregnancy loss, abortion and bad decisions.. Think of it as a sponge soaking up all your traumas, regrets, bad decisions, etc.

Obsidian yoni eggs are great to have in your collection for working with the spirit world and are highly protective with strong metaphysical properties keeping you grounded and safe.

Always do a good purifying cleanse after working with obsidian. 


Make sure your yoni egg is not fake.

Nephrite Jade:

  • Properties: health, abundance, revitalizing, longevity, joy, victory, success, wealth.
  • Chakra: heart

Nephrite Jade is said to bless whatever it touches, serving mankind across the globe for nearly 7,000 years. Jade was the first stone used internally by women, exclusively to concubines for the emperor and members of the royal circle, as wise, ancient powers believed that health, beauty and longevity could all be achieved through a strong and healthy vagina.

Nephrite Jade is a stone with a heart of healing and a stone for healing the heart. It’s energies are so strong and steady one feels a flow of well-being and balance almost immediately upon touching them. Jade eggs are good stones to wear during sleep, both for their harmonious and nourishing vibrations and for their beneficial effect upon one’s dream life.

Women have reported that Nephrite Jade yoni eggs have had a profound effect on them by infusing their womb space with vibrations of love and joy and claiming the experience was beautifully orgasmic.

Jade Eggs fosters wholesome and steady growth of one’s chi or life-force energies. It is recommended that one wear or carry Jade when hiking, gardening, relaxing, or meditating outdoors, because it draws upon the earth’s life-force and imbues one’s auric field with that energy. Jade Eggs can harmonize and balance a woman’s womb space and heart chakra, aiding in both emotional and physical well being.

Jade yoni eggs can be used to attract abundance and prosperity and to broadcast peace and loving-kindness to all those in one’s surroundings. It’s a stone of abundance and can help to attract wealth and all kinds of prosperity.

Yoni eggs_Rose Quartz_4ZjiPQv9SXOHEuaxeQOr_egg.png

Rose Quartz:

  • Properties: love, gentleness, emotional healing, release of stress, uniting with the divine.
  • Chakra: heart

Rose Quartz yoni eggs is the pure crystal of love – for oneself, one’s partner, children, family, friends, community, the earth, the universe, the divine.

Meditating with a Rose Quartz yoni egg brings an envelope of love around oneself and activates the heart chakra. Healing the heart of it’s wounds and reawakening it’s trust are among Rose Quartz gifts. Her soothing vibrations are a balm to the emotions and they calm and cleanse the entire auric field. She engenders teh release of tension and stress, the dissolution of anger and resentment, the dispelling of fear and suspicion and the rebirth of hope and faith.

Rose Quartz yoni eggs are are one of the crystals of the great mother earth. She links one’s personal heart to the heart of the earth and the heart of the universe. Her love vibrations can penetrate to the cellular level, reprogramming the cells for joy and longevity rather than despair and death. Rose Quartz yoni eggs can stimulate the crown, third eye and throat chakras, bringing them into harmony and unity with the heart. Even the lower chakras respond favorably to the abundance of love energy which flows from the heart under the influence of Rose Quartz.


yoni eggs 0002480750_10.jpg



I just want to share that as soon as I got my eggs I was so ecstatic to use it. I decided to use my Nephrite Jade first and even slept with it. One of my challenges is that I sometimes forget that I have it in me so when I get up from my chair it somehow tries to “escape”.  Just keep in mind that as long as you keep it tight down there it won’t go anywhere. I also forgot that I have my yoni egg in me when I had to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. So watch out for that. Please remember to sterilize your eggs before each use. (Instructions here). I also want to share that I got confused with the term “sleep with your egg” when I read an instruction to get “atttuned” to it. I thought it had to be inside me but then as I was writing a new post about my instructions I found out that I was supposed to sleep with it under my pillow first before I inserted it inside my yoni. LOL

For newbies like myself, please check out gemstoneyonieggs.com‘s article “Yoni Egg User Guide: Cleanse, Charge, Use” so you can learn how to use and care for your yoni eggs. This site is full of information about yoni eggs and and other things and she sells them on her website, too.

Have fun with your yoni eggs! I know I will… haha


Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile



My Cheating Heart


I don’t know why but I somehow feel guilty. I’m not sure what’s going on but I guess I tried to divert myself from my Frenchie as I knew I was somewhat falling a little too deep for my taste.falling_in_love-valentine_day-786_big

Over Valentine’s day,  we communicated a bit but it wasn’t like last year. He’s still very sweet but I felt a hint of gap between us. I can’t blame him. I was MIA for a few weeks before that and gave him a lame excuse. He’s probably come to his senses.




Anyway, he wasn’t the only one that made my heart flutter that week. I heard from my Wil. (Yes! My Dirty Little Secret, Wil…) He says, “Happy Valentine’s Day, my love!” I didn’t respond to him right away but I did just before the end of the day. It’s still V-day after all… on my side of the earth, that is. I didn’t want Wil to have funny ideas. I can’t go back to that roller coaster ride. Too much drama for an LDR. Then we started talking again though I made it clear we’re just going to stay friends.

Cardiogram pulse trace and heart concept for cardiovascular medi


But then they’re just icing on the cake coz these days I have my eyes set on this cool dude. He is the reason of my frequent “amatory arrhythmias“. He came from nowhere actually. I’ve been seeing him around at work and I’ve noticed how he smiles at me from ear to ear as we walk towards each in the hallways. I wasn’t paying it any mind until one day when I asked him to hold my stuff so I can open the door with my key and he grabbed my hand and said “we haven’t been formally introduced.” You can imagine my shock. Oh, he has soft hands. lol



What the?! Is this guy for real? I guess I’ve been talking to him in-passing but who cares if we haven’t been formally introduced. I did think he was cute and he’s pretty hot but he’s also really young… He must be around ten years my junior (at least).  So I didn’t think much about him. Then I started to notice how he liked to engage in small talk and started asking me some personal stuff. He asked how old my kids were and I told him “That’s classified.” He thought that was funny. There’s no way I’ll give him any idea how old I am… haha



I tell myself, “Okay, hold your horses, this guy could be your son if you got pregnant in high school. Stop and take your head out of the gutter.” But for someone who hasn’t done the “dirty” in a while and with my Frenchie being so far, I couldn’t help but think about it. It can do no harm. Can it?



I do know about “The Rule”…  I definitely cannot “$hit where I eat” especially in my position in administration. There’s a lot of gossip mongers at work and I just cannot take the risk.

Anyway, this made me think  of the recent Scarlett Johansson interview where she stated that “Monogamy is not natural.” This was after her fairly recent split from her French ex-hubby. Is it safe to conclude that he cheated on her? Oh my, the French!!!  But, isn’t that the same story we heard about  why she and Ryan split up? How idiotic is her statement!  Just because she ended up getting married to two cheaters is not enough to make that statement as if it’s absolute. For most people, monogamy can be quite challenging. It takes a lot of work to stay committed to one person for the rest of your life especially when the going gets tough.



So here I am talking about my cheating heart but I’m not in a relationship and I am no longer married. That was one of the agreements I had with my ex, “NO cheating”.  I can honestly say that I feel there was no third party involved for him or myself until the end no matter how unhappy we were in the marriage. We tried… and tried… and tried. Sadly, it didn’t work out. But like Dr. Phil says, “It’s better to be happy alone than be miserable together.


Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile




Vitas is  known as the “ weird guy” who sang Chum Drum Bedrum (“7th Element”). I first saw him in that video which was really crazy but it was pretty obvious how talented he is. I was just watching this video where he performs “Opera #2” and I was thinking that it’s challenging to take him seriously after you’ve watched him perform “7th Element” first. haha


Anyway, I wish he’d sing “SOS d’un Terrien en Détresse“, I think he’ll nail it. I just don’t know if he can sing it better than Dimash Kudaibergenov.

FYI, his talent is not limited to singing as he designs his own stage costumes, too. DIVA (ДИВА) is the name of the band that accompanies Vitas during his concerts.


Vitas meme.jpg


Well, if you were entertained watching him perform “7th Element”, I have no doubt you’d love him sing  “Opera #2” here sans fish gills. It was the  best selling record in Russia in 2001, 2002, & 2003. That is THREE whole YEARS.


A little info about this guy… Vitaliy Vladasovich Grachov is a Russian singer known for his unique falsetto and possesses a five-octave vocal range.His music is often difficult to categorize, incorporating elements of techno, dance, classical, jazz, and folk music.


I thought this guy’s so amazing that I decided to add this interview (with English subtitltes) for those who want to know more about him.




Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

French 101: What’s my Name?


I know sometimes when you’re just vacationing as a tourist and you’realways  in a hurry to catch the train, bus or cab you might feel that there’s no time or need to ask someone their name or maybe give out your name. But you don’t know if and when this might come in handy. I didn’t need it with My Frenchie coz he speaks English fluently… but just in case you have the urge to impress your Frenchie then here it is, knock yourself out. lol  😉



Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

Kissing in the Rain


Call me crazy but I am just curious if there is a word worse than hopeless? “Why?”…  you may ask? Because I am such a Hopeless Romantic and I doubt there’s any cure. I know it may sound super cheesy to some but this is me. I thought I would outgrow it but here I am time and again trying to tell myself to snap out of it. “Prince Charming ain’t real!!!”  haha

Anyway,  I was just making a “Romance /$ex bucketlist” and this came up so I thought I’d write about it. I feel one of the most romantic things is to kiss in the rain. I haven’t actually done the “dirty” in the rain but I can imagine that I’d freeze to death. I have thought countless times how it would be like to kiss and be kissed by My Frenchie for the first time. I have imagined it to be at the Charles de Gaulle Airport (or any airport for that matter) since he has mentioned it to me in detail how he has played it in his head many times.

Oooooh la la!!! Is it getting hot in here??? haha





Gosh! He has one of those kissable lips. I’m not going to lie. It crossed my mind the first time we met. That’s one of the reasons I  didn’t think it was a good idea to go out with him in Paris. .. we would have kissed on our first date and I haven’t done that for the life of me. I’m not a 1st or 2nd date kisser… I’m a little quirky like that.  Well, he likes to say, “there’s always a first time”… but of course… haha




So yes, when I think about kissing, is there anything more romantic than kissing in the rain?  I have been wishing that when we meet again, there would be a chance of rainfall and get a chance to kiss in the rain. But then there’s a risk of messing up my hair and make-up. Ooooh!!!  😦  I don’t even remember the last time I got to do that. Maybe in college?  That was a looong loooooong time ago.



And one of the best kissing in the rain scenes I have dreamed of would be this one from The Notebook which is one of the best novels I have read and watched.


I just realized that this is just my second most fave scene in this movie… and I’ve been dreaming about a man that can and will carry me in the rain… lol


On top of the list is their “fight scene” … nobody can top that… my heart melted. Ugh!!! I’m in love!!!

Are you a hopeless romantic like me?

What are your fave romance movie scenes?

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile