Oh, mon Dieu!!! Oui! Oui! Oui!


“Omg!!! Tonight is the night!”, I thought to myself.

Yes, it is!

I am finally back in Paris…



My Frenchie actually came to pick me up from my hotel… Oui!!! Oui!!!

Two long years we have waited to see each other.

Those times we talked about the things we wanted to do with each other… starting with that very long passionate kiss… oui!!!

I cannot believe this is actually happening.

then my phone rang…

he says he’s waiting downstairs outside the hotel.

I say I’m on my way down…

I hurry… I couldn’t run any faster…

I come out…

He was just standing there…

it is him…

in the flesh!


with a very big smile…

I stop just past the steps…

he walks up to me…

he says, in his very sexy French accent, “first, that kiss I have been dreaming about… as promised… really big…yes?”

We both laughed then he kissed me… very passionately… and embraced me like he had not planned to ever let me go.

I do not know how long that kiss lasted. We were in the middle of the street of Montmartre in the middle of the night not caring that there were other French people walking by. It was like time stood still.

He held my hand and lead me towards Sacré-Cœur we walked around and talked. We tried to play catch up then he asked about what our plans were while I was in Paris.

Then I had to tell him what I couldn’t over the phone…

“I’m seeing someone now. Plans have changed. Those dreams and fantasies will have to remain just that… dreams and fantasies.”

I can see the pain in his eyes… it wasn’t easy for me either. But I did tell him from the start that I don’t do LDR’s anyway… him and I can never be.

I said, I just wanted to tell him in person. Sure, I had to fly to Paris for this?

I don’t know what I wanted him to do or say… as usual, he says “I understand”.

He holds me in his arms again but he doesn’t say anything. He looks into my eyes… kisses my forehead then he smiles.

We don’t talk… we just sat at the steps of Sacré-Cœur enjoying the view of the beautiful city of Paris. He held my head so I can lean on his chest as if to listen to his heart beat.

I don’t know how long we were there for… I didn’t want it to end. But then it started to drizzle… we looked at each other and knew it was time to get back. It was like the sky was also sharing our sadness.

We walked back to the hotel not saying anything to each other…

there was nothing left  to say.

As we got to the steps of my hotel, he kisses me again… almost like he did the first time but not quite.

It didn’t seem to me like that was going to be our last kiss.

Then he gives me a tight embrace and says… “Bonne chance ma belle princess.”

He steps back and stares at me… as if to memorize my face…

then turns around and walks away… 😢




Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile



The gifs on here were in anticipation of what was to happen when we finally saw each other in Paris. I had not planned to be with anyone till after our tryst. But I guess fate has a funny way of playing with your heart. haha

Now that I’m with someone, it’s a major game changer for me. I tried to be just focused on my Frenchie now it will be different.





It’s September again. How time flies. Two years ago around this time, something happened that will change my life forever.


When I heard this song I thought that this could be one of our songs. My Frenchie and I met around that week, it was a cloudy day. In fact, it rained which is how we met. Quite serendipitous!

If the universe had nothing to do with our paths crossing then I’ll be darned! LOL   😉

Anyway, I can’t contain my excitement!!!. I’ll be back next month in the same sweet spot where we met that one fateful night.

I still haven’t decided if we should meet up. We have been making plans though and I really don’t want to stand him up. It’s just that I’ve been so crazy about him I don’t know if it’s a good idea. Plus I’m seeing someone right now. I haven’t really committed yet coz at the back of my mind I know that I have to see my Frenchie. And If I had a bf that would be cheating so, no. I’m still pretty much single and available though this seems getting a little serious at this point. Idk, I’ll write about it at some point.

Anyway, I actually left him a message last month saying that I might not be able to see him in Paris after all cause my sched is pretty hectic. That was an attempt to dodge him. But he won’t take no for an answer. He says I refused to let him visit me here in the US and made him wait 2 years so it’s just fair. LoL

I told him I’ll call him as soon as I get to Paris.

I will.

The “coffee” is still on for now — 70/30 at least 😉

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

Tinder and Online Dating

My daughter had been bugging me to create a Tinder account since last year. I told her I didn’t care for that. She says, “Mom, it’s fun! You should check it out!” Well, I got a new phone and before I could set up the lock code she made an account from me and started swiping. Surprise! Surprise! I get these messages (notifications) from these hot, ripped, young(er) men and I had to ask… what the hell was going on?

I was hoping for men closer to my age if I were to start dating again. I didn’t really think I’d want to go out again for a while after the thing with Z went South… plus I’m still (probably) going to meet up with My Frenchie over coffee  😉 in Paris next month.

It’s next month already!?!?! Wow! How time flies.


Anyway, I used this app for a month and dated a handful of guys just to get my feet wet in the dating scene.

These French firemen 🔥🔥🔥 will make women want to commit arson. LoL 😜 Omg! I didn’t realize that it’s actually raining men out there. Where have I been? I must’ve been hiding under a rock… literally. 🙄

Now I realized that the odds are on my side even though there are still men out there who haven’t outgrown their shady $hit and some mind games. I’m still feeling optimistic that it’s not that hard to find love for women my age. I have a strong feeling I’ll be able to find my King 👑 in no time.

Keeping my fingers crossed. 🤞

Grosses bisses ❤️ Etoile


I don’t know why but this word just crossed my mind… it seemed like the right word to describe Z (my Spring Fling).

I have been thinking about WTH was going on with Z. Was he a Narcissist? A Sociopath? I’m not sure he’s that bad.

Then, I checked out the Urban dictionary… I’ll just paraphrase and put together what people thought best describes a “fuckboy”.


Fuckboy 12237276_1523476731297482_1183441080_n

Hey, you up? No, I’m going to sleep forever just to avoid you. Bye!


I haven’t even heard of anyone using the term before. How did I think of it… and it’s actually a word?!?! LOL

FB when-u-fall-so-hard-for-a-fuckboy-u-gotta-2514502.png


A fuckboy hopefully prepares us for the next adventure. He opens our eyes and helps us realize that we deserve better. We know our worth, and the standards that we need to set for our future relationships… so how do we end up with a poser? How do we miss the signs? We just have to be more careful and watch out for those blinders.

Fuckboy when-u-think-ur-over-the-fuckboi-thats-ruining-ur-15044836



Incidentally, I just watched the movie “Spread” starring Ashton Kutcher who’s a typical fuck boy in the movie. He’s young, charming and handsome, living the good life in Hollywood by giving rich, older women plenty of what they want: Great SEX!


I actually thought of telling Z to watch it and maybe he might learn a trick or two from Ashton to up his game coz it seems to me that he’s used to catching anchovies… not big fishes…  He just lost a big fish (moi)…  he has no clue when he’s already got a diamond in his hand. He really screwed up big time. But I am so glad I managed to get out when I did. He could’ve done major damage and jeopardized my job. Or maybe he’s really not that bad. Either that or he really doesn’t play the big leagues. Needless to say, I’m grateful that I got off unscathed. Almost!

Toy Boy – Bande-annonce (Français) HD


Bottom line, the fuckboy is now part of our past. Don’t look back. He is now someone we used to know. He no longer has a place in our hearts and our minds. We have taken back control. Now let us move on.


If you have no idea if you’re with a fuckboy, check this out… 30 Signs You Are Dating A Fuckboy.

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile



Puppet Master


When I just started dating Z (my Spring fling), there was something about him that scared me. I wasn’t sure if it was him or me but  I guess it was just the dynamics.

There was a way he initially talked to me that made me feel like I couldn’t say no to him. I didn’t understand why but it was like a hardship on my part to turn him down. Looking back. I don’t know how we didn’t end up not having sex. I thank God for that. We had instances where we got really close but I was firm and said I wasn’t ready and he listened.




I feel broken hearted. I know I was the one who broke it off… who asked him to leave me alone many times. But now that he actually listened and stopped calling me, I realized that I miss(?) him and I actually like him more than I thought I did… more than I should have.

I know he’s not good for me… there are so many deal breakers.  I have decided from the beginning that this is something that is not going to last. But I should have know better. I couldn’t handle my emotions. Why did I even bother?


Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

Once you go Black… really?

Zohan was the first black guy I ever dated. I won’t mince my words, he turned into an @$$hole almost immediately when we started dating. He was hot and cold and shady and got me all confused. But he’s a very different person at Ground Zero… almost everyone liked him there. He’s very charming, a great listener and he seems to be there for people. That’s how I fell for him. I’ve known him since last year but I wasn’t really talking to him. He wasn’t my type even though I did think he was kinda cute. But I had a moment where I was down and vulnerable and I guess he saw that window of opportunity. He swooped in and took advantage of it like a real player playing a fiddle. He was there for me (so I thought) and we got close and that was the beginning of the end. Ugh!

Anyway, I can’t explain what happened. He turned out to be very manipulative, a sweet talker, a “breadcrumber”, a liar and a taker. The exact opposite of what he was selling when we started going out. Initially, he seemed quite interested in what I want. He kept on asking what made me happy, what my hobbies were, what I wanted coz he says he was a “pleaser”… and I would spare you all the graphic stuff but you know where I’m going. I think he’s just used to women who don’t mind being treated like dirt and I warned him that I don’t put up with crap and I guess he thought I was kidding. End of story.


Once you go BLACK 4a3bc83d5bffd000453c5f52d68ef5fe


No way! Master Yoda, too???!!!




So I can’t say I had a bad run yet. But I won’t write them all off. As I told him, I’m color blind. I didn’t date him coz he was Black. I liked him for who he was til he showed me his true colors.

BLACK tumblr_mbfnh0rZIc1r8hbpro1_500


I felt that he was so confident that once I got a taste of his tool that I’d be begging for more. I think that’s his experience with other women. They didn’t care being treated like dirt for as long as they get more of the “drug” he offered. That made him more friggin’ cocky. Like he is God’s gift to women.  Ugh!!! I actually felt curious and almost dared to prove him wrong. Actually, prove the cliché wrong that “Once you go black… “. But that meant that it’ll benefit him too and give him bragging rights so I gave it a No-Go.

I actually felt a little curious just coz he talked (bragged) about it a little too much… and I almost dared to prove him wrong. Actually, wanted to prove the cliché wrong that “Once you go black…” But one night when we were together, he said to me, “I get what I want.” He said it matter of factly. It wasn’t a serious conversation but it stuck and I thought to myself. “I get what I want, too. And screw you! You won’t get a piece of this.” And I stood by it.


Once you go BLACK e4dc67b3d07cf46862bc90106a5c0d3b


Part of me still fantasizes about how it would be like with Zohan. But I think that he’s only good in my fantasy. I honestly think he’s a dud considering the few times we were together, I think he’ll just go straight to it and won’t even bother “pre-heating the oven” if you get what I mean. He’s one of those dudes who doesn’t wanna be bothered with those amatory preludes coz they feel their dick is big enough to rock your world.


Now that he sparked my curiosity about black dudes I really wanna prove if the cliché is true. But I may be setting myself up into a trap that I might not be able to get out of.

I just hope that I’ll meet one who’s also big on integrity like myself. Who is honest and nice and won’t be playing games. I’m a big girl, I think I can handle it.


Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile