Happy Birthday, my Frenchie ❤️❤️❤️

It’s my Frenchie’s birthday…

wish I was in Paris celebrating with him but for now, we just have to settle with our regular WhatsApp chats…




I can’t wait to see him again in November.

super excited making plans with him.

I wonder how it’ll turn out this time. 🙏🤞🏼


Joyeux  anniversaire, mon cher!

Mille bisous 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘




What Women Want…

People are unique, hence our needs are unique. However, there are certain things that are essential to a relationship.




I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t expect some kind of reciprocity in a relationship.



I am a giver… I love to give especially to those whom I love… whether it’s material stuff, love, attention, sexual intimacy, name it. I don’t ask for much but I feel more inspired to give when I know that my partner is someone who is also generous in many ways.





Nobody can give and give and not take anything back. Sooner or later you’ll feel depleted and you’ll start to lose that feeling of wanting to give.




Think about yourself, too.

If you don’t… who else will?


Grosses bises  ❤️Etoile

Breadcrumbing… is this the latest dating fuckery?

I’ve never heard of breadcrumbing until recently. Then it dawned on me that I’ve been a victim target and I wasn’t aware that was such a thing. Apparently, it’s also called “Hansel & Gretelling”, i.e., when one gives another just enough attention to keep their hope of a “relationship” alive. This is the most frustrating thing ever. It’s so confusing.

Thank God I have no patience for flakiness or I would’ve been victimized by these breadcrumbers. That would’ve been a waste of my precious time. Ugh! 🙄

Breadcrumbing’ is “the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages to members of the opposite sex in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort.” — Urban DictionaryAnd, while the act itself is just as awful as “ghosting”, I’d rather be ghosted and be able to move on than be lead on. The act of ghosting is rude, immature and cowardly but breadcrumbing is deceitful, malicious and just downright evil if you ask me.

Breadcrumbing is more insidious than it initially appears, it’s more like “gaslighting” where one starts questioning their sanity and think they’re going crazy after they’ve been manipulated. You end up second-guessing yourself — was there something there or did my mind just play tricks on me?

It’s interesting how this new era of dating has evolved into this. It’s so hard to trust people nowadays coz you don’t ever know which one will play you, or ghost you or bench you or breadcrumb you.


You cannot judge a book by its cover. The nicer the guy, the easier to fall, the harder it is to believe that you’ve been duped. All you will do is blame yourself… but don’t… don’t let these losers change you and make you hard.

Don’t lose faith in humanity.

There are still good people out there.

Just proceed with caution.

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

Oh, mon Dieu!!! Oui! Oui! Oui!


“Omg!!! Tonight is the night!”, I thought to myself.

Yes, it is!

I am finally back in Paris…



My Frenchie actually came to pick me up from my hotel… Oui!!! Oui!!!

Two long years we have waited to see each other.

Those times we talked about the things we wanted to do with each other… starting with that very long passionate kiss… oui!!!

I cannot believe this is actually happening.

then my phone rang…

he says he’s waiting downstairs outside the hotel.

I say I’m on my way down…

I hurry… I couldn’t run any faster…

I come out…

He was just standing there…

it is him…

in the flesh!


with a very big smile…

I stop just past the steps…

he walks up to me…

he says, in his very sexy French accent, “first, that kiss I have been dreaming about… as promised… really big…yes?”

We both laughed then he kissed me… very passionately… and embraced me like he had not planned to ever let me go.

I do not know how long that kiss lasted. We were in the middle of the street of Montmartre in the middle of the night not caring that there were other French people walking by. It was like time stood still.

He held my hand and lead me towards Sacré-Cœur we walked around and talked. We tried to play catch up then he asked about what our plans were while I was in Paris.

Then I had to tell him what I couldn’t over the phone…

“I’m seeing someone now. Plans have changed. Those dreams and fantasies will have to remain just that… dreams and fantasies.”

I can see the pain in his eyes… it wasn’t easy for me either. But I did tell him from the start that I don’t do LDR’s anyway… him and I can never be.

I said, I just wanted to tell him in person. Sure, I had to fly to Paris for this?

I don’t know what I wanted him to do or say… as usual, he says “I understand”.

He holds me in his arms again but he doesn’t say anything. He looks into my eyes… kisses my forehead then he smiles.

We don’t talk… we just sat at the steps of Sacré-Cœur enjoying the view of the beautiful city of Paris. He held my head so I can lean on his chest as if to listen to his heart beat.

I don’t know how long we were there for… I didn’t want it to end. But then it started to drizzle… we looked at each other and knew it was time to get back. It was like the sky was also sharing our sadness.

We walked back to the hotel not saying anything to each other…

there was nothing left  to say.

As we got to the steps of my hotel, he kisses me again… almost like he did the first time but not quite.

It didn’t seem to me like that was going to be our last kiss.

Then he gives me a tight embrace and says… “Bonne chance ma belle princess.”

He steps back and stares at me… as if to memorize my face…

then turns around and walks away… 😢




Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile



The gifs on here were in anticipation of what was to happen when we finally saw each other in Paris. I had not planned to be with anyone till after our tryst. But I guess fate has a funny way of playing with your heart. haha

Now that I’m with someone, it’s a major game changer for me. I tried to be just focused on my Frenchie now it will be different.




It’s September again. How time flies. Two years ago around this time, something happened that will change my life forever.


When I heard this song I thought that this could be one of our songs. My Frenchie and I met around that week, it was a cloudy day. In fact, it rained which is how we met. Quite serendipitous!

If the universe had nothing to do with our paths crossing then I’ll be darned! LOL   😉

Anyway, I can’t contain my excitement!!!. I’ll be back next month in the same sweet spot where we met that one fateful night.

I still haven’t decided if we should meet up. We have been making plans though and I really don’t want to stand him up. It’s just that I’ve been so crazy about him I don’t know if it’s a good idea. Plus I’m seeing someone right now. I haven’t really committed yet coz at the back of my mind I know that I have to see my Frenchie. And If I had a bf that would be cheating so, no. I’m still pretty much single and available though this seems getting a little serious at this point. Idk, I’ll write about it at some point.

Anyway, I actually left him a message last month saying that I might not be able to see him in Paris after all cause my sched is pretty hectic. That was an attempt to dodge him. But he won’t take no for an answer. He says I refused to let him visit me here in the US and made him wait 2 years so it’s just fair. LoL

I told him I’ll call him as soon as I get to Paris.

I will.

The “coffee” is still on for now — 70/30 at least 😉

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

Tinder and Online Dating

My daughter had been bugging me to create a Tinder account since last year. I told her I didn’t care for that. She says, “Mom, it’s fun! You should check it out!” Well, I got a new phone and before I could set up the lock code she made an account from me and started swiping. Surprise! Surprise! I get these messages (notifications) from these hot, ripped, young(er) men and I had to ask… what the hell was going on?

I was hoping for men closer to my age if I were to start dating again. I didn’t really think I’d want to go out again for a while after the thing with Z went South… plus I’m still (probably) going to meet up with My Frenchie over coffee  😉 in Paris next month.

It’s next month already!?!?! Wow! How time flies.


Anyway, I used this app for a month and dated a handful of guys just to get my feet wet in the dating scene.

These French firemen 🔥🔥🔥 will make women want to commit arson. LoL 😜 Omg! I didn’t realize that it’s actually raining men out there. Where have I been? I must’ve been hiding under a rock… literally. 🙄

Now I realized that the odds are on my side even though there are still men out there who haven’t outgrown their shady $hit and some mind games. I’m still feeling optimistic that it’s not that hard to find love for women my age. I have a strong feeling I’ll be able to find my King 👑 in no time.

Keeping my fingers crossed. 🤞

Grosses bisses ❤️ Etoile


I don’t know why but this word just crossed my mind… it seemed like the right word to describe Z (my Spring Fling).

I have been thinking about WTH was going on with Z. Was he a Narcissist? A Sociopath? I’m not sure he’s that bad.

Then, I checked out the Urban dictionary… I’ll just paraphrase and put together what people thought best describes a “fuckboy”.


Fuckboy 12237276_1523476731297482_1183441080_n

Hey, you up? No, I’m going to sleep forever just to avoid you. Bye!


I haven’t even heard of anyone using the term before. How did I think of it… and it’s actually a word?!?! LOL

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A fuckboy hopefully prepares us for the next adventure. He opens our eyes and helps us realize that we deserve better. We know our worth, and the standards that we need to set for our future relationships… so how do we end up with a poser? How do we miss the signs? We just have to be more careful and watch out for those blinders.

Fuckboy when-u-think-ur-over-the-fuckboi-thats-ruining-ur-15044836



Incidentally, I just watched the movie “Spread” starring Ashton Kutcher who’s a typical fuck boy in the movie. He’s young, charming and handsome, living the good life in Hollywood by giving rich, older women plenty of what they want: Great SEX!


I actually thought of telling Z to watch it and maybe he might learn a trick or two from Ashton to up his game coz it seems to me that he’s used to catching anchovies… not big fishes…  He just lost a big fish (moi)…  he has no clue when he’s already got a diamond in his hand. He really screwed up big time. But I am so glad I managed to get out when I did. He could’ve done major damage and jeopardized my job. Or maybe he’s really not that bad. Either that or he really doesn’t play the big leagues. Needless to say, I’m grateful that I got off unscathed. Almost!

Toy Boy – Bande-annonce (Français) HD


Bottom line, the fuckboy is now part of our past. Don’t look back. He is now someone we used to know. He no longer has a place in our hearts and our minds. We have taken back control. Now let us move on.


If you have no idea if you’re with a fuckboy, check this out… 30 Signs You Are Dating A Fuckboy.

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile



Puppet Master


When I just started dating Z (my Spring fling), there was something about him that scared me. I wasn’t sure if it was him or me but  I guess it was just the dynamics.

There was a way he initially talked to me that made me feel like I couldn’t say no to him. I didn’t understand why but it was like a hardship on my part to turn him down. Looking back. I don’t know how we didn’t end up not having sex. I thank God for that. We had instances where we got really close but I was firm and said I wasn’t ready and he listened.




I feel broken hearted. I know I was the one who broke it off… who asked him to leave me alone many times. But now that he actually listened and stopped calling me, I realized that I miss(?) him and I actually like him more than I thought I did… more than I should have.

I know he’s not good for me… there are so many deal breakers.  I have decided from the beginning that this is something that is not going to last. But I should have know better. I couldn’t handle my emotions. Why did I even bother?


Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

Un peu, beaucoup, aveuglément!

After the disastrous experience I had with Zohan, I felt like it left a bad taste in my mouth. It’ll take time before I start dating again. I feel like I lost confidence in myself as far as trusting people… men in particular.

How can I be so blind and gullible?! STOP!!! I’m back in this cycle of being harsh to myself. That is not my affirmation.  It’s not my fault that there are people who are good at being so fake and manipulative… who just want to take advantage of others.  Moving forward, I just have to be smarter and trust my gut.

Around the time we were seeing each other the Universe sent me messages…. plenty actually. But  I chose not to listen. I was so drawn to him for some reason.  (I wrote about it in Puppet Master.) Then the Universe started throwing bricks… still  I was back and forth. Then the Universe intervened one day. Abruptly,  if I may say. Call it Divine intervention. What a relief it was for me. You have no idea. I was totally saved by the bell. Things could’ve made a turn for the worse for me.


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Today I turn a new leaf. The Universe sent me a new message thru Abraham Hicks “Let your soul mate in: Being true to yourself“.  The message… Nothing is happening to you, it is all invited by you. You invited them through your ATTENTION to them. Now you are aware that you are the “Inviter‘ of these things that happen to you. Next move is for you to go on a rampage of SELECTIVE SIFTING that would say “I’m going to find my 10 favorite things about this person/thing/situation that I find myself focused on”. For example, if you ponder on a lover/ relationship, find 10 fave things about that person then you’ll  just focus on things that are positive. This will set the TONE so that only things like your favorite things will come into your vibrational range.



Un peu, beaucoup, aveuglément! (BLIND DATE)


Blind Date (French title: Un peu, beaucoup, aveuglément) is a 2015 French romantic comedy film directed by and starring Clovis Cornillac. The film also stars Mélanie Bernier, Lilou Fogli and Philippe Duquesne. It won the audience award at the 19th annual COLCOA French Film Festival in Los Angeles and the Best First Film award at the 2015 Cabourg Film Festival.   SOURCE: Wiki


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Today, I watched this movie. No, I still haven’t changed my mind about dating anytime soon… though I would be open to a blind date when the time comes. However, I thought, these two people were too scared to go find love but they found each other though separated by a wall. It was pretty odd but it was perfect in their own way. Don’t they say the movies is a reflection of real life?

Now that I am in a state of increased awareness, I’ll use that to my advantage.  I’ll be more conscious of the thoughts that occupy my mind and make a more conscious decision to focus on the 10 favorite things about people or situations so I can always set the tone and keep it that way.


Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile