When contemplating on what kind of guy (or gal) we wanna date or start a relationship with, we usually begin with a list in mind before we move forward. I actually have a list of qualities of what “Mr. Right” would be like which I have kept in my black book. This list is a set of traits and other things that I would find desirable in a potential mate… my “dealmaker”. On the other hand, I have a list of things that would definitely not make it to the cut — my “deal breakers”.
I broke these dealbreakers down into 3 categories, mild, moderate, a Big No-No!
The “Big No-No!” are qualities that would disqualify them automatically regardless of how much I like them and no matter if they have several traits that fall in my deal maker category. Let’s say he’s successful, committed, physically fit and attractive and very much into me but shows some signs of anger issues or being manipulative then that’s a red flag for me — a Big No-No!”… I wouldn’t waste both our times so I gotta move on to the next. The mild and moderate category are some minor quirks that I may be able to accept depending on how much I like him and how much he qualifies as a dealmaker.
Now, back to the story of my life… 😉
Zohan took me out to dinner last night. He wasn’t late. I kinda was. Well, if you think about it, we both were but he did say 830-ish and I insisted on making it early. Then we compromised. I’m always on time and I just didn’t feel like waiting this time. He did let me know that he was picking me up by my house and he was already at the meeting spot when I left my crib. At least I wasn’t aggravated. Maybe he knew I was done. Like, this would’ve been the last straw after our argument last night. Already? Yup! There’s really not a lot I’d tolerate at this point.
Then I saw him. I was happy. Hey, he’s wearing that same athletic shirt… again! Ok, not a big deal. He did say he was with the boys and he had to drop them off quickly and get to me. I guess he didn’t have time to change, more so to shower. Ugh! Ok, again no big deal… really? His life is just so hectic, he’s running from one place to another when he’s off work…and most of the time, just like myself, even when I’m off work, I get called to come in to work to troubleshoot or check on something. I guess we understand each other on that part since we’re both work in administration but how is this going to work?
Ok, I lied. It really is somewhat of a big deal to me. I take time to prepare for a date to look pretty and smell great and I feel like, well, I’ll just put it this way… hygiene is a very big thing for me, So yeah, I’m a little turned off. But then again, I also give him props for being such a devoted Dad, for being hands on and coaching his boys and all but come on now, take a 5 minute friggin’ shower for your date! What to do! He’s really trying to juggle this. But call me crazy, I kinda feel safe knowing that maybe making out isn’t a big part of his agenda especially after I warned him the last time. For the most part, he’s really kept his hands to himself… I told him I was serious and he’s been behaving. Um, more props? But now it’s pissing me off that I’m wanting more. Yes, I know, I must be giving him mixed signals. I want him to make a move but not too aggressive coz I’m not ready for “that”, yet. MAKE UP YOUR MIND, LADY!!!
Long story short, we had a great time actually. We talked, well, he wanted me to talk. Most of the time he just wants to listen and ask questions about what I like. He usually talks to tease me coz I think he gets a rise when I roll my eyes or something. He laughs at me when I get too serious. I teased him back, too. I kinda hinted that I think he’s a player coz he says I’m the only one and I went “maybe at our place but you could have one at the school and one at the gym“. He says he’s not like that and how can he find time. I think I kinda believe him. Am I being naive? Gullible?
After dinner, we were going to drive around but then his son called and wanted to be fetched. He needed a ride. Then his other son called and he needed his Dad for something else, too. He says he’ll be there soon. He looks at me and asks me why I got so quiet. I didn’t tell him the truth. I really don’t know how long I can do this…or if I can do this at all.
I got a lot of thinking to do this week.
Check out some stats…
And I found this interesting article with stats on Dating Deal Breakers. Go check it out.
Grosses bises ♥ Etoile