I don’t know why but I somehow feel guilty. I’m not sure what’s going on but I guess I tried to divert myself from my Frenchie as I knew I was somewhat falling a little too deep for my taste.
Over Valentine’s day, we communicated a bit but it wasn’t like last year. He’s still very sweet but I felt a hint of gap between us. I can’t blame him. I was MIA for a few weeks before that and gave him a lame excuse. He’s probably come to his senses.
Anyway, he wasn’t the only one that made my heart flutter that week. I heard from my Wil. (Yes! My Dirty Little Secret, Wil…) He says, “Happy Valentine’s Day, my love!” I didn’t respond to him right away but I did just before the end of the day. It’s still V-day after all… on my side of the earth, that is. I didn’t want Wil to have funny ideas. I can’t go back to that roller coaster ride. Too much drama for an LDR. Then we started talking again though I made it clear we’re just going to stay friends.
But then they’re just icing on the cake coz these days I have my eyes set on this cool dude. He is the reason of my frequent “amatory arrhythmias“. He came from nowhere actually. I’ve been seeing him around at work and I’ve noticed how he smiles at me from ear to ear as we walk towards each in the hallways. I wasn’t paying it any mind until one day when I asked him to hold my stuff so I can open the door with my key and he grabbed my hand and said “we haven’t been formally introduced.” You can imagine my shock. Oh, he has soft hands. lol
What the?! Is this guy for real? I guess I’ve been talking to him in-passing but who cares if we haven’t been formally introduced. I did think he was cute and he’s pretty hot but he’s also really young… He must be around ten years my junior (at least). So I didn’t think much about him. Then I started to notice how he liked to engage in small talk and started asking me some personal stuff. He asked how old my kids were and I told him “That’s classified.” He thought that was funny. There’s no way I’ll give him any idea how old I am… haha
I tell myself, “Okay, hold your horses, this guy could be your son if you got pregnant in high school. Stop and take your head out of the gutter.” But for someone who hasn’t done the “dirty” in a while and with my Frenchie being so far, I couldn’t help but think about it. It can do no harm. Can it?
I do know about “The Rule”… I definitely cannot “$hit where I eat” especially in my position in administration. There’s a lot of gossip mongers at work and I just cannot take the risk.
Anyway, this made me think of the recent Scarlett Johansson interview where she stated that “Monogamy is not natural.” This was after her fairly recent split from her French ex-hubby. Is it safe to conclude that he cheated on her? Oh my, the French!!! But, isn’t that the same story we heard about why she and Ryan split up? How idiotic is her statement! Just because she ended up getting married to two cheaters is not enough to make that statement as if it’s absolute. For most people, monogamy can be quite challenging. It takes a lot of work to stay committed to one person for the rest of your life especially when the going gets tough.
So here I am talking about my cheating heart but I’m not in a relationship and I am no longer married. That was one of the agreements I had with my ex, “NO cheating”. I can honestly say that I feel there was no third party involved for him or myself until the end no matter how unhappy we were in the marriage. We tried… and tried… and tried. Sadly, it didn’t work out. But like Dr. Phil says, “It’s better to be happy alone than be miserable together.”
Grosses bises ♥ Etoile