You Da One

This may sound stupid but about a week ago I got several messages from my Frenchie. About 7 to be exact. Six voice messages and a video message. It was his response to my most recent text — “surprise me“.  He surprised me alright.

I don’t know what he’s thinking now. I normally respond right away just to at least acknowledge it. Say ‘thank you‘ and let him know that I’ll be sending him either a voice message or a video message  in a few days. Yes, we’re that busy.

Why stupid? Coz I still couldn’t get myself to respond to it. I finally managed to type up my response yesterday but I still couldn’t get myself to record and send it to him. I don’t know what’s going on with me but I guess I’m feeling down. Or maybe I’m feeling confused.

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He did everything I asked of him and more. I was just thinking these past days that for the more than one year that I have known him, he has been very thoughtful and generous and very sweet. Whatever I ask of him he’d do and more. And when he sends me messages, I feel that he couldn’t trump that then he sends me stuff which blows my mind more than I can imagine. He’s just full of surprises. From sending me collages, to narrations to  doing a play by play or just being silly.

One of the things that touches my heart is when he sends me photos of him with his kids. I know he rarely sees them. I try not to bug him but I made sure from the beginning that he knew it was important to me to see him finding time to visit them as they live far from Paris. And I wanted to see proof. He initially sent me photos of his kids by themselves but that wasn’t good enough for me. I wanted to see that they were spending QT with their dad together in photos. He was actually doing a lot better by summer of last year. I’m so proud of him and it made me really happy whenever he sent me those photos.

Just a week before last he sent me 27 photos, most of them with his kids and a couple of long voice messages (3 and 10 minutes) and a short video clip. This was mind boggling, mind blowing for me (@ Recording Audio) and I thought he couldn’t trump that… then he surprises me with this so soon. So what’s up now?

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I have to admit that I’ve been constantly thinking about him over the past few weeks. I can’t get him out of my mind. And the more I think about him, the more I feel like I want to be with him… physically.

 

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I want to fly to Paris. .. like asap! I don’t think I can wait til the Fall. In fact, I just checked the ticket prices as I was typing away. But I felt this way in the past. That’s why I’ve decided to stop communication. I’m trying to practice restraint. This too shall pass. I do not want to be impulsive and end up saying something I might regret. Maybe misleading him in the process. That is one thing I would never want to do.

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

 

 

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8 comments

  1. Jo · January 23

    Big respect to you for keeping the LDR going…I had a terrible experience with it a few years ago, but I think it was partly because I was a lot younger!
    I then got into another relationship and all was fine while we together, then, due to work, we had to give the long distance a go. That began in November of 2014 and it has been a horrible roller coaster of a ride ever since. I’ve tried to end it on numerous occasions but for some reason I am still stuck in this kind of limbo with him. This year however, I shall be turning 30 (very soon) so I have decided to have a positive, productive and happy year and not spend time struggling to make decisions that in the end don;t always make me happy. I’m trying to just “go with the flow” !
    Watch this space…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Etoile 75007 · January 23

      Hi Jo. It is not without struggles and challenges though we haven’t really labeled our thing or jnsq (je ne sais quio) as I refer to it coz I told him from the start that I don’t want a relationship. I call it an LDR (R for romance) coz it’s kinda like a romance/ flirtationship kinda thing but I really am not going out with anyone and I’m hoping he’s not either til we meet again, that is… coz I do want to date him even just one time and see where it goes.
      I had an LDR in the past. My LDR was with my soulmate and it didn’t workout… We were together for about 7 years before the LDR. He was the love of my life and we were never the same people after we gave it a second go years after and it still didn’t work out. I’m writing about it here. So I don’t want to try that kind of life anymore. It may work for others but I know it’s not for me.
      Life is short. Do what makes you happy. I wish you the best!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jo · January 23

        Life IS too short! I’ve learnt that the hard way recently and that’s another reason why I have decided that this, my 30th year, has to be the best!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Etoile 75007 · January 23

        Indeed, life is short. Time flies fast. There’s no replay nor rewind. Enjoy every single moment as it comes. Carpe diem!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Life as Mrs. A · January 23

    Sometimes doing something impulsive isn’t a bad thing. It can turn into something wonderful ☺

    Liked by 1 person

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