I met a man… he was no ordinary man. He was a French man.
He was from Paris… the City of Love… the City of Lights.
He was very charismatic, hot & sexy, courteous, he had a great sense of humor and such a gentleman.
Did I miss anything? Oh yeah, he turned my life around.
Why am I using the past tense? Because I have decided from the start that it was not going anywhere. There was a period of “confusion” (maybe for lack of a better word) but the distance, circumstances and timing were just not conducive to a relationship.
I didn’t know what to expect at first. We just started talking… and talking… and talking. Then one thing lead to another. But knowing that I didn’t want to do LDR’s I had to let him know that it was not going anywhere… and that’s where it started going downhill… or so I thought.
I guess he had to let it sink in and check if I was serious enough. He found out I was, after a few times of semi-“ghosting” from my end. I needed some space… some boundaries. For me, that is. I needed to push him away every time I felt that he started to suck me in a little deeper into his world.
He makes me feel so powerless every time we skype… the way he looks at me… studying my face… staring at me… most times we don’t even have to talk… we can just stare into each other’s eyes for hours… looking into each other’s souls.
Gosh! It feels weird… I know it sounds kinda mushy and cheesy .
He makes me feel like a teenager… there I said it… LOL
One day I was having breakfast with my daughter and I somehow drifted in deep thought (about my Frenchie) and it made me smile…
then she says to me “My goal is to find someone who looks at me like Mom looks at the apple.” LOL ha ha ha
Oh, how I miss how he makes me feel.
But it’s my choice to distance myself from him.
It’s been a year… how time flies. We still talk but I try to keep it under control.
What am I afraid of? I’m not sure… I just know I’m not ready for this.