How long has it been since I ‘ghosted’ Will? It’s been a while. Yet, I couldn’t find it in my heart to block him on skype or viber. I can still see whenever he’s online or offline. I still feel the urge to say “hi” but I don’t. Sometimes I wonder what he’s thinking. If he still thinks about me. But I know better. I should just leave him alone. He still sends me texts from time to time but I fight the urge to respond. Doing so will just hurt him more. I want him to move on. It’s the “right” thing to do. Oh, me and my morals.
Tonight is different… there was something ominous in the air. Then I got a viber text, it was from Will… but it was a different kind of text. He said he just found out that his mom passed away. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t respond. I was just collecting my thoughts, trying to figure out where to start… how to start… what to say…
A few minutes after, my phone rang. I was getting a skype call. It’s Will. I picked up. He says, “Hello baby, you know who this is?” I said, “Of course, I am so very sorry about your mom. I can’t even start to…” He cuts me off. He started asking me about why I stopped talking to him and the time he came here in the US and how I “stood him off” and yada yada yada. I said, “Will, we can talk about that another time, I’m here to talk to you about your mom.” He calms down. He told me that he’s still in shock. She’s the only family he’s got besides his son. She died suddenly, now he has to worry about how to care for his son who his mom raised. Now he has to take care of sending her body to the UK so she can be buried next to his father which was her last wish. I can hear how overwhelmed he was. For a moment his mind was occupied, we didn’t have to argue. I’ll take it.
He says, “Hello baby, you know who this is?” I said, “Of course, I am so very sorry about your mom. I can’t even start to…” He cuts me off.
We must have talked for an hour or two. I lost track of time. I reassured him that I’ll be there for him. He was there for me after all when I was really down. Now I’m thinking… what am I going to do? We’re going to start communicating again. I don’t want him to think that it will be like it was before.
It’s getting late. I had to let him go. I was in deep thought… I’ll have to get used to that peculiar viber sound again for a little bit and figure out an exit plan later on. But for right now, I have to be the supportive friend. I know how devastating it is to lose a mom. He has been so kind to me and I have to be a buffer for right now. It hasn’t sank in. He’s still in shock… in denial… he hasn’t started to grieve… I have to be true to my word. I’ll be there for him.