I know I said I was going to end it with my Frenchie. I talked about “closure” in my “Last Tango in Paris” and I did (kind of) “ghosted” him. I stopped communicating with him for several weeks. But this recent terrorist attack in Nice, France during the Bastille day Fireworks was horrendous that I couldn’t stop myself from getting worried and wanting to know if he was fine. I was too anxious to find out if he and his boys were safe and away from all that chaos.
What is going on in this world? Just 8 months ago there was a terrorist attack in Paris, one of the worst they had. Then the last few weeks it’s been back to back acts of terrorism in different countries… the mass shooting at the Orlando night club, suicide bombers at the Istanbul airport, another terrorist attack at a Bangladesh restaurant, ambush of police officers at a Dallas peaceful protest rally, the list goes on and on.
Anyway, going back to my Frenchie, I was so relieved when he responded to me right away. He says the boys are visiting him in the coastal cities of Spain where he’s working right now. He sent me photos of them asap. They were having fun at the beach. He knew those things made me happy. He remembers that it brings me joy when he lets me know that he spends quality time with the boys as he seldom sees them because of his busy schedule (as I mentioned in my previous posts, they don’t live with him in Paris and he travels a lot). I apologized for the length of time that he didn’t hear from me. I gave him a list of excuses… my job, my kids but mostly related to school. He didn’t say anything to make me feel bad. As usual he “understands”. Is he for real??? We continued where we left of as if we didn’t stop communicating.
I don’t know how I’m feeling right now. I have butterflies in my stomach again but it’s not the same. It’s more like confusion instead of excitement. I feel like I want to talk about us to clear the air but there is no “us” and I still feel that I want to keep it that way. Yes, I’m sure of it. You must be as confused as I am. So I know that if I start talking I’ll probably confuse him more. I guess it’s better this way. Oh, women… why do we have to make things complicated? haha