Today is a significant day for me so I wanted to write something good. It’s been exactly 9 months since that serendipitous day when I met my Frenchie in Paris … Wow! A strange thought just crossed my mind… if we had “unprotected” sex that day, we probably would have had a baby by now… LOL Will it just be a dream forever??? To consumate our je ne sais quoi. Well, it’s not possible anyway… ain’t gonna happen. 🙂
It’s been a while since I got a chance to really write about my Frenchie. I had some thoughts but I guess I’m experiencing writers block. That’s a thing, right? I don’t know why I don’t feel as inspired anymore. I mentioned something about the “hedonic treadmill” on my last blog. Maybe that’s it, maybe not. I just can’t shake it off. I miss getting excited. I miss the anticipation and the mind blowing … conversations 😉 we used to have… hehe — you thought I was gonna say something else, huh… lol
I was watching a rerun of one of my fave shows last night, “Psych“… one of the characters mentioned “Last Tango in Paris” so I looked it up almost immediately… I’ve watched this Psych show before… (how did I miss that?) but this time around it seems like it spoke directly to me… I thought it would make for a great blog title… I had no idea what the movie was about… and the plot thickens… I googled it and found it on youtube. I watched some parts — most of it actually. I really didn’t understand what was going on between those two characters. It seems like they just used sex to numb whatever they were dealing with at that point in their lives. Well, whatever works, right? And whatever makes moolah in the box office… Cha-ching!!!
It’s not the language or the dialogue that I didn’t get, it’s just how they wanted what they wanted. It’s supposed to be a good movie but it had a stupid ending. Sorry! Spoiler alert! I posted the synopsis at the bottom of this blog. I was disappointed in Marlon Brando. He’s a great actor… they could have tweaked this.
Anyway, after I watched this movie, I thought about my Frenchie and how much I’ve missed him. I also thought about how similar our story is to this movie (not the sex part coz I never slept with him — we never even kissed.). I feel that we’re just wasting our time… I’m wasting his time. I don’t know what he wants from me because I have nothing to offer him. Not at this point at least. He’s very sweet and understanding and he’s just waiting, for what, I don’t really know. But it’s not fair. So I think the best thing to do is to cut him loose… cancel our planned September tryst and just move on with our separate lives. Now I just need some closure…
Grosses bises ♥ Etoile
SYNOPSIS…Last Tango in Paris (Italian: Ultimo tango a Parigi) is a 1972 Franco-Italian erotic drama film directed by Bernardo Bertolucci . Brando was a middle-aged recently widowed American mourning his wife’s suicide, he meets a young, engaged Parisian woman named Jeanne at an apartment that both are interested in renting. Paul takes the apartment after he begins an anonymous sexual relationship with the young betrothed Jeanne there. He insists that neither of them must share any personal information, even given names. The affair continues until one day, Jeanne arrives at the apartment and finds that Paul has packed up and left without warning. Paul later meets Jeanne on the street and says he wants to renew the relationship. He tells her of the recent tragedy of his wife. As he tells his life story, they walk into a tango bar, where he continues telling her about himself. The loss of anonymity disillusions Jeanne about their relationship. She tells Paul she does not want to see him again. Paul, not wanting to let Jeanne go, chases her back to her apartment, where he tells her he loves her and wants to know her name. Long story short she shot him dead. The End.