Part Time Love Affair

I just woke up from a dream. It was somewhat bitter sweet. I was with my Frenchie vacationing at one Latin American country having fun in the sun… we were at a beach… all of a sudden he drops a bomb… a bitter-sweet bomb… he tells me that he loves me deeply and he has decided to divorce his wife and he wants me to live in Paris with him. (Oh snap!!! So in my dream he’s married!!!???) Anyway, this is the first time I’m hearing this so I was trying to process this “bomb” (that the love of my life has vowed to spend the rest of his life to someone else… for real!!!) coz even though I was aware that it was just a dream, I would never want to be that woman who would be the “home-wrecker”… and the plot thickens… they have 7 year old twins. Double ouch!!!

zarte-gef-uuml-hle-unterwasser

As the words “j’taime… i love you, ma belle princesse… “came out of his mouth I felt like I couldn’t enjoy the pleasure of that sound… it should be music to my ears but no… knowing that it would crush another woman’s heart and destroy someone’s marriage… break a family…  I was definitely having a lucid dream

I had a whole vocab of names ready to throw at him… I was so ready to lash out… call him scumbag, traitor, and many other words …. why did he wait til I have fallen deeply in love with him to tell me this. I was in too deep.

We had a decent conversation after I’ve processed what he said.  First, I tried to convince him not to divorce his wife, especially coz they have young kids and that I can’t see him anymore. Then it dawned on me to ask, it’s weird that he’d ask me to leave my life in America to live in Paris just to be his girlfriend. Granted that he was going to “divorce” his wife. He must be out of his mind to think that I would agree to that… There’s so much for me to give up.  And if it goes south what then? We’ll just break up and I’ll be in a foreign land with no friends, family and  I don’t even know the language.  Then I realized… is he just being a man or being a French man? Ugh!

So now, I’m wide awake… I’m thinking about my dream, is my “gut” trying to tell me something? Or am I just having one of my paranoid episodes. We’re on the high point of our roller coaster ride right now… do I really need to spoil it? Is this a hunch… is the “universe communicating with me?” as Oprah like to put it…  let’s find out…

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

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