Love Bombing

It’s Valentine’s week… the week of L-O-V-E and it’s so timely to talk about love. Incidentally, I found this article about “love bombing”.

Love Bombing , what an interesting concept. Apparently, it is a  “seductive tactic that is used when someone who is manipulative tries to control the relationship with bombs brimming with “love” right from day one”.  I didn’t even know this was a thing until I found this article on elephant journal.  ” It often takes place within whirlwind romances and is usually directed by sociopaths or narcissists. ”

I had to be still and do some soul searching to figure out if I ever have been a victim of this in the past and I thank God that I have not. My relationship with my ex-husband was similar to the style of love bombing except it was real… or was it? I always told my daughters that if it were not for my ex-husband’s drug problems, womanizing, and immaturity, I would have stayed with him. My daughter thinks I’m trying to be funny… He was the sweetest, most romantic and most generous man I’ve ever been with.  It was like he got plucked out of the silver screen… He’s also  narcissistic and a sociopath… at least I think he is… He was too good to be true when we were just dating. But we were also co-dependent and it was a very unhealthy relationship. Oh, how did I forget to mention that he was also emotionally, mentally and physically abusive??? The scars are still fresh…

It was typical of a love bombing relationship according to the article… “ …such a dizzying experience it can take a little while to grasp the reality of what is actually taking place… due to the bombardment of actions that may appear very similar to “love” but that are extremely overwhelming and deliberately perpetrated. So much so that the bombing can effectively sweep people off their feet and cause high levels of infatuation, as the target is unaware that it is a manipulative means to gain attention. The approach does not give the person being bombed time to think straight or to assess whether the bomber is genuine or not as the relationship moves through the stages at full speed. Love bombing is initially carried out through excessive phone calls, text messages, emails, the constant desire to be in close contact whether virtual or physical and the desire to be connected almost every moment of every day.  http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/01/love-bombing-a-seductive-manipulative-technique/

Then I thought about my Frenchie all of a sudden… he is kinda bordering on the narcissistic side… or is he just naturally a proud French man? I don’t see any of this in him. He seemed pretty straight up from the start. He has not seemed to try to lead me on at all. He actually seems guarded and very careful in choosing the words that come out of his mouth and I’m thinking that this may just be because he’s just careful that some may be lost in translation from French to English and he does not want to confuse me. I have seen progress since December. He has started to open up and used “feely” words. He is more affectionate and has shown more interest in future plans with me and being together though we have not talked about the  possibility of starting a relationship since I laid my cards from the get go that since I was going to start graduate school in 2016 I had no intentions of being in a relationship until I earn my degree so that is my focus and he said he understood.  How fortunate I am?

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

 

NOTE: Please check out… Did I just get Love Bombed? No $hit!!!

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