Plagued by doubt… is the green eyed monster lurking???

It’s been a couple of months since my FM and I started chatting… I just realized that we never talk on the weekends coz he works his other job and it’s really hectic… or ” veree beezee!!!” as he says it… 😉     but he’s hoping it will get better this coming 2016 as he says he can’t function like this with lack of sleep, not having time to play sports or hit the gym among other important things.

He already warned me sometime in November that he has a lot of “projects” and that his weekends are really busy and  usually tells me mid-week that it’s “crazy”… The  first few weeks were plagued by doubt… even though he has prepared me to expect him to be MIA from Fri til Mon. or Tues.

I thought early on that he may have had a change of heart (about  this LDR) over the weekend… who doesn’t respond to texts or emails for 3-4 days??? It really bothered me coz he appears to be really excited to see me or talk to me every time then the silence… sigh! I do mirroring for the most part though. If he’s too busy to text back in a timely manner then I do, too. Sometimes I wait a couple of days but it eats me up though coz I really think it’s rude not to respond promptly… How busy can one get not to be able to send a one liner???

There was a time where I thought that he decided to just “ghost” me… Though ditching someone without giving a reason is generally less often the fault of the unfortunate “ghosted” and more often the wrongdoing of an insensitive “ghoster” it would still hurt like hell no matter how selfish, immature and undeserving of us we think the other person is.

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One time I wrote a goodbye email thinking that I may have said something to offend him… that was the first time but he sent me a very sweet, apologetic and detailed email so that was it. The following time, it was another long weekend and I saw that he was online (no, I wasn’t stalking him) so I called him against my better judgement and he didn’t pick up so I left a VM and still he took a while (hours) to respond but left me a lengthy sweet VM.  And surprised me with yet another lengthy email out of the blue apologizing for going MIA over the weekend and finally admitting that I was on his mind “all the time” (sigh!). It was a big deal for me to hear that coz I teased him about that the first few weeks and he couldn’t tell me that he thought about me a lot… so I guess it’s getting better. He also mentioned in his VM that he thinks of texting me just to let me know that he’s thinking about me and he wants me to know what’s keeping him busy.

Also, a couple of weeks ago, he responded on a Fri. or Sat.. Yes!!! Win!!! That’s the first time we actually communicated on a weekend… and last weekend, he left a very sweet and long text message. I guess things are getting better… I’m keeping my fingers crossed that 2016 will be better for us esp. now that he has expressed his desire to visit me in the US.

I don’t call or text him on the weekends coz I don’t want to bother him if he really is in fact at work… and I was also thinking that there might be a possibility that he may be with his sons who are just toddlers, I think. He says I can call and text anytime and if he’s available he’ll pick up but I leave the calling with him… in the almost 3 months we’ve been communicating, I have only called him twice and one of the was 11.13.15 coz I was so worried that he may have been hurt during the terrorist attack in Paris.

It has crossed my mind that he’s out of touch on the weekends coz he may be married or maybe have a girlfriend but I have decided to trust and let time tell…  but for right now my intuition tells me that he’s truthful… my mind may be clouded but I’ll go with my gut for the time being.

Grosses bises  ♥  Etoile

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